Saturday, April 23, 2011

T is for Tallywhacker

He waved them over to the monkey bars and pulled out his tallywhacker and showed it to the girls who were forming a tight circle to block the playground lady's view.

See, he said, and they all leaned closer. It looks like THAT!

I was in kindergarten. I ran laps and they called my mom and had a ~very~ serious talk with me in the far corner, beneath the fat lady's shade tree, the two of them breaking their lawn chairs and converting the sinner back to Jesus. I remember it pretty clear, and I bet so do the girls. I never confessed that we all pissed in the sandbox.

You probably thought people never actually did that, didn't you. Well, I did, and if you read my R post, you'll see that my wife once locked me out of the house in my underwear. It was because I had stepped into the back yard to whizz and she got miffed and locked the door.

Hard to keep such a curious critter bottled up, I guess, even under threat of expulsion.

What other names do you have for a man's or woman's pink parts, bodily functions, and so forth? You ever flash either intentionally or un?

- Eric


dolorah said...

My last ex husband calls his "George".

My mom called it a tallywhacker though. Or peckeer. My dad refused to call it anything.

When my son's were little, we called it a peepee. Now, its a tabu subject :)


Jai Joshi said...

Eric! I can see how your wife felt you deserved it. I probably would have done the same if you'd been peeing in my plants.


Wendy Tyler Ryan said...

Yeah, I'm kinda with your wife on that one. No peeing outside when, shucks, us folks got all kinda modern inventions now, where you pee in a big white bowl and press a lever. Yep, all kinda modern inventions.

Cute story!

Wine and Words said...

I like the British "wanker" :) I had a me yours, I'll show you mine moment with my next door neighbor. And then there was the moment I walked in on my dad in the bathroom and realized they weren't all so small. Yikes. What a shocker. Hell, my husband and both my boys pee in the backyard and everywhere else they can whip it out. If you got a hose, might as well water.