Thursday, April 3, 2014

Things that sound dirty, but aren't

Just for fun, you know how some things sound dirty but aren't? Well, here are some examples.

Kum & Go. It's a gas station. (from their website)



Here's a picture of a tall skinny blonde with room for cream, to go. Who doesn't want one of these! (from their website)



How about a sea cucumber. I think this one's played out, but it's still worth mentioning. I couldn't find any youtube vids that were appropriate, so feel free to look it up yourself.

You ever thought about the term Hump Day? Meatball? Blow pop? Beef jerky?

I can think of at lease one good reason not to put a Sit-n-Spin in my rear-entry.

How'd you like to be a coxswain? (from Wiki)


What if you caught a homo erectus in your bathroom jiggling his ballcock. You might say to him, Be gentle! You'll break it!

He might jiggle it so hard he falls and breaks his coccyx.

Let's imagine the guy is an animal lover, and he has for pets a titmouse and a shih tzu.


- Eric




Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Out of the Great Black Nothing and Wink from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

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Saturday, March 22, 2014

A Celebration of Life

So we're at this funeral. Not just ~a~ funeral, but one for a close friend. We haven't been friends for hundreds of years, but we've been dear friends, we've been near friends, we've been there-for-you-friends.

Anyway, it's a big funeral, lots of folks and oddly enough, not a lot of tears. I mean, there were tears, but it wasn't a sob-fest like you might be used to. I saw tons of smiles, shaking hands, hugs, heard laughter and chuckles, and maybe some of that was because we brought our baby boy Finn with us. He's six weeks old. Little guy. He was hard to hold because everyone wanted to hold him. Finn was good, too. He didn't cry.

You see, not even the baby cried.

Now, it wasn't for lack of sorrow that this was not the usual sob-fest. It was because of who we were celebrating. And there's a word I want you to remember -- ~celebration~.

This was less of a funeral and more of a celebration. There was no need for anyone to spin it that way, nor did he have to insist people remember him fondly or with a smile. It was a simple extension of his personality, a gentle man, a wise man, a man of mistakes who learned from those mistakes and blamed only himself when he faulted, all the while crediting his success to those around him.

So the Father, or Preacher, or Reverend, I'm not sure what you call him -- he's Episcopalian and I'm lucky to spell that word without the spell-checker (a minor miracle I spelled it correctly!), and anyway I don't know what they call the church leader. I'll just call him the Father, for sake of argument, and because I like the sound of it.

Anyway, the Father gets up and he knows the man, and he says some nice words about him, and then four people line up for the eulogy.

Yep, you read that right. Four people. Have you ever been to a funeral -- nay sayeth I, a ~celebration~ of life -- that required four people to speak? First a childhood friend. Then a son. Then a granddaughter. Then another granddaughter. All of them shared joyous moments, and it's a credit to the man that his children and his children's children spoke so eloquently, so plainly, so heartfeltedly and magnificently that you cannot help but see his influence on their hearts.

The friend goes first, and she relates his childhood, and apparently he never quite grew up. Of course we already knew that, but it was nice to have validation.

Then the son. Now his son is an atheist. The man himself was a staunch Christian, albeit a Christian scientist and engineer, a nuclear physicist for all intents and purposes. So his son apologizes for not being a man of faith, or a believer I think is how he put it. He gets up and says, and I paraphrase, horribly, so please excuse me, he says, I'm not a believer, but I'll do my best.

He then goes on about particles and the Cosmos, and he wraps it up by saying, I'm not a believer, but I really like this quote, so let me read it to you.

Recognize that the very molecules that make up your body, the atoms that construct the molecules, are traceable to the crucibles that were once the centers of high mass stars that exploded their chemically rich guts into the galaxy, enriching pristine gas clouds with the chemistry of life. So that we are all connected to each other biologically, to the earth chemically and to the rest of the universe atomically. That’s kinda cool! That makes me smile and I actually feel quite large at the end of that. It’s not that we are better than the universe, we are part of the universe. We are in the universe and the universe is in us.

― Neil deGrasse Tyson

Holy crap, right! What a perfect quote for a Christian scientist.

And if that doesn't sound like God at work I don't know what to tell you. We are all connected, and we are in God and God is in us. I bastardize the poor guy's quote for my own purposes because that's how I roll.

Now the first granddaughter gets up and she goes on about how her Cap -- that's what they call him, Cap, because he was a Navy Captain -- always went on about how important math and science are. You see why that Tyson quote was so perfect, yes?

The second granddaughter shuts down the room with her speech. It was so moving and perfect that you felt the room swell with her words. She's young, barely a teenager, but those words were steeped in wisdom and understanding beyond what most people achieve in a lifetime. Everyone in the room thought the same thing I thought -- she gets it from him. He was like that, too.

She sits down and the other granddaughter and the son and the friend sit down, and the Father comes back to the front, claps his hands, smiles, and says, paraphrased horribly, I want to thank you for those words. And for the atheist, I personally believe this church was built to be filled with atheists.

We all laugh. Laughter at a funeral. You see what I mean? A celebration of life.

The whole day was like that, as was his life, as will be his afterlife and the lingering lives he touched, all of them filled with a little more laughter and a bigger smile and wiser words and maybe a little extra math and science, all of which I believe we could use a bit more of.

He will be missed and remembered fondly, and above all he will be celebrated.

Celebrate in Peace, John Marshall.

- Eric




Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Out of the Great Black Nothing and Wink from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Who (author) would you meet, if you could?

So I had this great interview today on Words by Webb: http://jodiwebb.com/interviews/5ws-with-eric-trant/, in which Jodi asked me her 5Ws.

Here is the first:


WHO
If you could meet any author, who would you like to meet? Why them and what would you say?

I would meet Ray Bradbury. We would meet not in life but in some other dimension on the planet Mars, in his bionical and maniacal House of Usher II remix with the robots serving us and the great ape destroying our guests while everyone laughs. Something Wicked would Come our Way, and we would ponder how the Martians used to look and whether the Earth would blow up and if anyone would even notice, and if they did notice, would they care. I would walk with him on the wettest, driest, farthest planets, and we would launch into space while we Sang the Body Electric and drew the Illustrated Man on the inside of our visors. I cannot claim to have read or even discovered all of his works, but we would discuss every one, and he might ask me about mine and not laugh.




Just wanted to share that, in case anyone was wondering. WHO WOULD YOU MEET? If it's Vonnegut or Heinlein or Azimov or Clarke or one of similar status, let me know so I can go with you.


- Eric


Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Out of the Great Black Nothing and Wink from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

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Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Some of my other blog stops

So I really have been busy a-blogging lately, just not around here. Look below for some articles I wrote thanks to WoW (Women on Writing), email: blogtour@wow-womenonwriting.com.

Friday, July 26 @ All Things Audry
Don’t miss today’s win/win stop for Eric Trant and his new thriller Wink (#WINK)! Not only is it your chance to win your own copy of Wink, but join Eric to find out “How Writing Heals”.
http://allthingsaudry.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, July 30 @ A Writer’s Life
Talk about interesting! Join Eric Trant as he discusses “How Small Town Living Made Me a More Interesting Writer” and Win a copy of Eric’s new thriller, Wink (#WINK)!
http://carolineclemmons.blogspot.com/

Thursday, August 1 @ Writing is Easy
Find out why Eric says caution should be taken when branding yourself, and win your own copy of his fabulous new thriller Wink (#WINK).
http://c-c-hall.com/

Friday August 2 @ CMash Reads
Eric Trant talks about being your authentic self with today's guest post "Why You Should Be Yourself in Writing and Marketing" stop by CMash Reads for this exciting discussion and your chance to win a copy of Wink (#WINK) Print-US/Canada residents OR EBook-open to all.
www.cmashlovestoread.com

Saturday, August 3 @ Book Worm
Today is your chance to win a copy of Wink by Eric Trant (#WINK) and read his fascinating guest post: "Can a Faith-Based Person Write Supernatural Fantasy?"
http://bookworm66.wordpress.com/

Monday, August 5 @ Books I Think You Should Read
Don't miss your chance to win a copy of this great thriller and read Elizabeth Parker's review of Wink (#WINK) by Eric W. Trant.
http://booksithinkyoushouldread.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, August 6 @ Renee's Pages
Win a copy of the new thriller, Wink (#WINK) by Eric Trant and hear his thoughts on “Author Intrusion: Good or Bad?”
http://www.reneespages.blogspot.com

Wednesday, August 7 @ World of My Imagination
Win your very own copy of Wink (#WINK) by Eric W. Trant and see what Nicole thought after reading this fabulous thriller set in a rural Gulf Coast town.
http://theworldofmyimagination.blogspot.com/



- Eric


Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Out of the Great Black Nothing and Wink from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

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Thursday, July 25, 2013

Breaking the Mold for Men and Women in Writing

So the blog tour kicked off Wednesday with an interview at The Muffin. Thursday I head over to Book Flame to discuss breaking the molds for men and women in literature.

Wednesday, July 24 @ The Muffin
Don’t miss the exciting thriller Wink by Eric W. Trant. Wink’s WOW! Blog Tour begins with an author interview and a give-away!
http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/

Thursday, July 25 @ Book Flame
Break the mold and win with today’s stop at Book Flame where you’ll have a chance to win a copy of the new thriller, Wink (#WINK) and hear from Eric Trant with his guest post: “Breaking the Molds for Men and Women in Literature”.
http://bookflame.blogspot.com/


- Eric


Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Out of the Great Black Nothing and Wink from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

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Wednesday, July 24, 2013

WoW! Women on Writing Blog Tour

Thanks to Crystal Otto over at WoW! Women on Writing for putting together a blog tour for me.

WINK WoW! Tour

If you need someone to help organize an online book tour, ask Crystal!




- Eric


Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Out of the Great Black Nothing and Wink from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

** BE A SUPER-HERO! BE AN ORGAN DONOR! **

Monday, July 8, 2013

The Milky Way, Einstein, Two Tweener-Teens, an Old Man, Aristotle, and Other Meanderings

The Milky Way is still up there. I have visual confirmation, along with second-hand verification from several other people. Good to know it's still there, because I haven't seen it in quite some time.

I went to Garner this past week with my family. That's Garner State Park in the Texas Hill Country outside of San Antonio. The nights were so clear I could see all the way to the edge of the universe like I did when I was a kid in East Texas. There were the stars, the constellations, and for a while I thought it was a cloud bank way up high and clear.

Then it hit me. That's the Milky Way! Holy crap it's been a while since I saw that thing. See, I've been in the city since I was twelve years old. I moved to a small town, but it was outside of Houston toward Beaumont, and all those refinery lights bled out the Milky Way. You can see the stars, but not that cluster-cloud so deep in space that you can feel it tugging at you.

I saw it and stared at it for a while, and then I called the kids over and we all looked up at it. Funny what happened next. There was this long moment of silence after I explained what it was, and then my daughter, 13, says, So I wonder if we can see Dastan's star.

I said, Nope. His star is not visible with the naked eye.

Silence. Then she said, I bet if all the stars were visible, the whole sky would be one big star.

Probably.

Then she explained how right and left were relative to the way you were standing, and she turned and showed me the MW was now on her left, turned, now on her right, but it was always in front of me and to the right of her brother.

I said, Now you understand Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Same thing, only he uses a lot more math to make that simple point.

I wasn't trying to be smart, she said.

You don't have to. This is what happens when you get outside the city and de-hypnotize yourself from all the advertising and consumerism and look up and see the universe. You feel it, don't you.

It's like there are strings everywhere. That was my son who said that.

What do you mean?

I mean it's like you can feel the stars tugging at you. Like there are strings.

That's what scientists used to think. They thought there was this thing called Aether that everything flows through. It wasn't until Einstein chunked that theory and developed relativity that they abandoned the Aether. Even so, Einstein and his contemporaries believed the Aether would probably come back into play later, after we evolved better theories. That's the string you're talking about.

Hmm. I wasn't trying to be smart, he said.

It's the Milky Way. It does that to you.

So we talked about Dastan, and who else we wanted to see when we died, and that got us onto the subject of God, and at that point we had to sit. So the three of us sat on a parking curb-stop and kept looking up. I saw a shooting star but they missed it. They missed the other one I saw later, too. Maybe I was seeing things.

Why don't some people believe in God? my daughter asked.

There are only two types of people in this world. It has nothing to do with belief. There are only those who realize God, and those who do not. It's like discussing whether a fire is hot or cold, but you never touch it.

Like with a tub of water, she said. Like if you never get in, you never know if it's hot or cold.

Like that. You have to experience God. You feel him, don't you?

Yeah, she said.

Yeah, my son said.

But why don't people believe when you tell them? my daughter said.

Well, it's like explaining a rainbow to a clam. They don't get it.

You think every planet has its own God? That was my son again.

What do you mean?

Like, we have our God here, but way out there is another God, and we all see something different. Like different rainbows. Like, do they see the same red we see?

That's actually a common philosophical argument. They wonder if your red is my yellow, and her blue is your green, and so on. We don't even know if we see each other the same, like does my human look like your dog, and so on. Some people believe there is either one universal consciousness, or maybe patches of consciousness in the universe. That we all seem to see the same red when we see red implies a common consciousness.

So we all have the same God.

Right. And if there is other life, which there is bound to be, we may not even be able to see each other. We'd pass by and never even know we'd passed.

Like one is a clam and the other is a rainbow. We'd have no common God and would never see each other.

Right. You know we have five senses. You know there is only one that is common to every known living creature.

Sight? My son said. Then he thought about the clams and ran through his senses with his sister. They touched their noses, tongues, ears, eyes, and finally my son said, TOUCH!

It was a eureka moment for him, and I said, Aristotle reached that same conclusion.

I wasn't trying to be smart.

It's not you. It's the Milky Way. Keep looking up. Even trees have touch. They feel gravity and the sunlight and know when it's cold and time to drop their leaves.

They like water, my daughter said.

Yep. Touch is the common link between life. Feeling. What you feel right now looking up is life. Can you feel the Milky Way?

Well. Can you?


- Eric


Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Out of the Great Black Nothing and Wink from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

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