Sunday, February 11, 2018

Remember this on Valentine's Day

I know it's a manufactured holiday, and aren't they all, but still, Valentine's Day is a fine time to remember you should appreciate your significant other. See, not everyone found a partner with benefits, and a lot of couples don't even like each other. Plus, the axe man comes in the night and widowizes us all.

So, if you're thrice lucky -- you found someone, you actually ~like~ this human, and the axe man's still waiting outside your door, tapping his foot and whetting his blade -- then you should take some time out of your busy, tiresome, stressful, just-let-me-sleep day to show some dadgum love to this person.

Thing is, we sometimes believe we can do things like clean the house or cook a meal. Sure, that's nice, but anyone can do that. Hell, hire a maid and go out to eat. Boom. Done. Those are chores, not gifts.

We think maybe we can say nice things, but we all receive compliments (or should) from plenty of other folks. No big deal. Heck, gussy up and post a selfie, let the damn-girl comments roll in.

Buy a house together! Nope. Roommates do that. Boring.

Vacation? That's fun, but again, lots of folks join you on vacations.

I'm not saying those things don't matter, but they are not the most precious gifts you can provide. They're silver and bronze and copper offerings, and I'm saying you should dig up gold and platinum. Consider what you alone hold in your possession that no other person could or should provide to your partner.

How about this one. She's in the kitchen cooking. She's busy. You're busy. You sidle up behind her, hands on her hips, nibble her neck and say, I love you, baby.

Now, there's a gift you alone can give her. Easy, isn't it, and pure gold.

How about another one. He's in the shower, shaving. You stick your head through the curtain, say, Hey sexy, want some company? After he stops the bleeding (because he realized you were already undressed), you jump in and have some slippery fun-time with him.

How about this one. You wash her car. Fun, right? WRONG! Trick question and here's your neck-slap, because I wanted to see if you were paying attention. Take your damn car to the car wash, this doesn't count.

Try again.

She's on the couch watching her shows. She's under her blanket. She wants to be left alone, and you want to cuddle, but instead of messing with her, you sit down and massage her feet, because you know she's been pounding them all day and they're aching her. I know, a masseuse could do it, but it's the act of offering it freely and unsolicited that matters, along with the kind and meaningful words you say to her. Massages kinda go either way, if you ask me. Same with things like painting her nails, shaving his back, or giving her an enema because she's pregnant and three-days constipated. You know, all those blissful pseudo-intimate encounters that don't involve kissing.

In general, you're shopping for gifts that you alone can offer your lover, gifts that, if another person provided them, would breach the limits of your dedication to one another. The foot massage, for instance, would be very inappropriate if a co-worker did it at work, and who wants someone jumping into the shower while you're at the gym.

See, it's the uniqueness of your gift that matters. It's the fact that you alone can offer it. It is the fact that the gift is within the sacred boundaries of the relationship where the two of you reside alone, together.

Jewelry, cards, flowers, anyone can do that.

But nibbles and cuddles, whispers in bed and swinging from the rafters in scalp-numbing ecstasy, these are gifts you alone can give your most-prized and #1 guy or gal.

That right there, folks, is why we have a partner like this in the first place.


L. Diane Wolfe said...

We never do anything extra for Valentine's Day because we show that kind of love year round. And it is those little things, Eric. Things that only we can give our mate.

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