Tuesday, May 22, 2012

My Son Died

My 18 month-old son died this Monday, May 21, 2012.

He suffered a seizure that sent him into cardiac arrest. The cause is unknown. He was resuscitated after thirty minutes, but suffered catastrophic brain damage, which led to complete brain death. This began Friday. He was pronounced brain dead on Monday.

He was otherwise healthy and beautiful, and was at the park playing up until he crawled into his mother's lap and seemed to want to sleep. His head lulled more than it should, and that was that.

Here is a picture of him at our wedding in March. He is the beautiful one.

We signed him as an organ donor. Since he suffered asphyxiation, his organs are pristine. Furthermore, they are going into children.

His heart as I type is being sewn into a 2 month-old baby girl, his liver into a toddler, and both his kidneys into a 69 year-old woman. It is fair to say that my son today saved the lives of three people.

He is my hero.

Dastan Jerome Wheeler Trant
November 11, 2010 - May 21, 2012

 - Eric

50 comments:

Charity Bradford said...

My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your wife.

What a beautiful tribute to your son. Although it must be painful to lose such a beautiful spirit, I hope there is comfort in knowing that part of him lives on in the lives he saved.

Carole Anne Carr said...

I just couldn't accept this when I read what you had written. How do you cope with this.....

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Eric I am so sorry! Prayers for you and your wife.

Kristie Cook said...

While you must feel a pain like no other, your tribute to your son is beautiful. He is my hero, too. Thoughts and prayers for you and your wife.

Jemi Fraser said...

I can't even imagine your pain. I'm so very, very, very sorry for your loss and heartache. You are truly lovely, amazing people for helping him become a hero for those 3 other families and lives. My thoughts & heart will be with you. *hugs*

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

I am stunned and sad to hear this awful news, and I'm awed with your grace in saving lives. My heart aches for you and your wife.

Donna Hole said...

Eric, I am devastated with you and your wife. I remember your adoring posts while you two were expecting, and I remember the day he was born, one of the most beautiful, loving posts I've ever read. I know how much you and your family doted on this child.

I enjoyed each moment of his life with you as you posted your pleasures and inspirational quips. Your anecdotes about your family life were always a bright spot in my days.

Your love of your family is such a large part of the guest post you sent me, and I grieve with you that Dastan will never be able to share that moment with you as he grows.

That was a brave and loving gesture to donate your son's organs so other's may live. The recipient's families will cherish their loved ones the more for the sacrifice you have made. I hope it is a comfort to you and your family that a part of your son's being lives on to bring joy and fulfillment to other families.

Your family's compassionate gift is amazing, despite the difficult choice you've made.

In support of your family and the loving memory for Dastan, I will revisit the posts you have published that share your love of your family, and especially the birth of your son.

Please share my condolences with your wife and other children. Their suffering also tugs at my heart, and thoughts.

.......dhole

Wine and Words said...

"It's fiction". I kept telling myself it was going to be fiction. At some point...GOD (please) it's got to be fiction. I cannot control the tears. I cannot...even aptly put my sorrow. A parent knows, intrinsically knows, this heartache, having dreamt it so many times, and yet we cannot KNOW. I want to hug your wife. I want to hug you...not that it will heal anything. It's just for want of something to do, to help, as if there is such a thing as help at such a time as this.

As you may, or may not know...I work for the blood bank. Living beings donate their fluid. We take bone marrow registrations for living beings that might be required, at some point, to give other living tissue. What am I saying? I don't know. Just that I have seen the gratitude of recipients. I have seen their pale flesh turn pink. I know, the way people alongside can only know, how your baby lives on. Many lives. He lives on as many lives, and you will miss him more than a hundred. Eric, I am so desperately sorry.

Marie said...

Bless you and your family and the decisions you all have made. Dastan will be missed daily. My heart is breaking each day coming to terms that your precious son is gone. I wish so much all of you did not have to go through this heartbreaking time. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. And Dastan is in our hearts always. We love you guys and are here always no matter what. -Marie Widing & Family

Renne said...

Eric, I've been talking to Mandy everyday and haven't got to really speak to you. You guys are like family to us, and can't imagine what you're going thru. The last 4 days have been so surreal. You and the family have been Incredibly strong! Our family has spent the last few days trying to wrap our heads around what has happenend. I'm joyed that Dastan's passing was able to save the lives of 3 others. I can't help but keep wishing I could turn the clock back a few days and make everything ok. Please know that our family is here for anything you guys may need in the coming time. We keep telling Gregory he has some big shoes to fill. Dastan will be dearly missed, but the memories we all have will last a lifetime. Xoxo to you and the family! Much love Renne, Mike, Michelle & Gregory!

Robin Sisente said...

Eric, I can not begin to imagine what you are going through. I have so many times witnessed tragedy and thought to myself "i don't know what i would do if", and now you have had to complete and answer that question. You and your wife are truly amazing and your total act of unselfishness just puts me in awe. So many people, myself included, would choose to blame or want in this situation, want for the clock to turn back, want for our loved one to come back, want answers to the 'why' that may never come. Your ability to take this situation and turn it into a chance to give shows more courage and strength than i even thought possible. My continued prayers go with you and your family during your time of loss and beyond.

Renee said...

Oh Eric, I cannot imagine. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Bless you for your vision of being able to see his life given to others. I pray for your pain and your loss. My condolences to you and Mandy.

David Errickson said...

Eric, We do not know one another, but my heart goes out to you & your family. As a father to three young ones, I can only begin to imagine your pain. I am incredibly sorry for your loss and will keep you & your family in our prayers. The tribute to your son is awesome.

Chris Skelton said...

Eric...I'm so sorry...I remember being at Reg and Eric's when you'd bring him over...what a cute baby boy...you are right, your son has saved the lives of 3 people...he is a hero...my thoughts are with you and your family my friend

Olivia J. Herrell said...

My God, Eric, I am just speechless. I saw your posts last night and it rocked my world. To have a healthy, happy baby one moment and the next not, is just too painful to imagine.

My soul cries for you, for Amanda, for Conner and Bri.

I can think of no greater gift Dastan could've given. He is indeed a special little boy, saving so many lives.

Lord only knows how far-reaching his gifts will be, how many more people decide to become donors because of Dastan. Not to mention all the lives those three will go on to touch.

There is a bright new star in the heavens tonight, Dastan the Pure.

I love the picture you posted of you three. It's one to treasure. For always.

Sending love and prayers on this dark, dark night, Olivia

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Dastan is indeed a hero. But so are you and your wife for helping so many other young children.

You are in a dark place. I wish you enough light to see where to step and the strength to take it.

You are in my prayers. I wish I had the words to ease your pain. Roland

Ted Cross said...

I can't tell you how sorry I am about this. It's always been my greatest worry in life, and I don't think it will ever stop for my two sons. All thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

Laura Marcella said...

Hello, Eric. I'm so sorry for your loss. Dastan is a hero, and those people he helped save will remember him forever. Wishing you and your wife peace and comfort.

Loralie Hall said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Words feel inadequate

Mary BEth said...

Eric,
My heart aches for you and your family. While it seems a lifetime since I last saw you, please know that time knows no bounds when we rally around those who have left such an impression on our lives. I will be in prayer for you. What a beautiful angel. Thank you for sharing his story. Mary Beth Brandon Bess

Anne Gallagher said...

My heart is bleeding. Oh Eric, I am so very very sorry. I cannot imagine what you and your family are going through. And this sounds so trite, but please know my thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. I'm just so very sorry.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I'm so sorry for yours and your family's loss, Eric. And thank you to both you and little Eric for making the lives of others brighter by donating his organs. *hugs*

Summer Ross said...

My thoughts go out to you and your family Eric. I'm a mother and this is heart breaking, to lose a child.

Stuart and Brooke Newton said...

You are amazing parents and made one incredible decision!!! I lost my 11 year old brother and we donated his organs and his left kidney recipient was in my wedding....your son is a HERO to many!!!! God bless you all!!!!!

Elana Johnson said...

Wow, I have no words for this. My prayers are with you and your family.

Arlee Bird said...

This is painful to hear. My condolences to you and your wife. You have honored your son well with this post.


Lee
Tossing It Out

DL Hammons said...

My thoughts are with you and your wife, Eric!

lydz69 said...

Eric ~ Thank you for sharing the story of your beautiful son <3 my family is praying for you and your family <3 A donor has given my mother in law over 12 years with a new liver <3 and she's still very healthy <3 I believe in the choice you made <3 the community is praying for you both and your family <3 Be still...and know <3

ohgee said...

God bless you and your family......there is another beautiful star in the heavens. My sincere sympathy to you and yours.
Jackie Galubenski
Ethridge Elementary

jeepgirl79 said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. You don't know me, but I live in your town and heard about this unbelievable loss. I have two children and my tears flow freely for you and your family. This is so very painful. I know words can't help bring him back, so I don't know what to say. I am so sorry. It is comforting to know that he has saved others. He was truly beautiful. I am praying for you and thinking of your family.

ohgee said...

God bless you and your family......there is another beautiful star in the heavens. My sincere sympathy to you and yours.
Jackie Galubenski
Ethridge Elementary

Jessica L. Foster said...

Your son truly is a hero. I'm sorry for your loss.

Eric W. Trant said...

Thank you all for your support and prayers.

- Eric

Unknown said...

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your precious son! I am so incredibly touched by the gift that you made to the donor families, your son and your family have touched their lives and given the recipients the lifetime that you wanted with Dastan. Praying for the lifetime of healing ahead. My son died in child birth and would have been about 20 months and I hope it gives you some peace that you are not alone, and neither is Dastan, we will all be reunited with our children again!

erinmhartshorn said...

My condolences. I can only imagine how much pain you are in. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sheri said...

I can't imagine the pain you are suffering, it breaks my heart that his life was cut so short and taken away from you guys to quickly. My prayers go out to you and your family and may God bless you.

dkhainer said...

Eric, your wife is my daughters teacher at rosewood and Datstan was her favorite little friend in the class. We will miss him greatly and he will forever be in our hearts. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers.

Carol Kilgore said...

My heart goes out to you and your wife. I'm so sorry for your loss. Although your son's life was short, it was filled with love and laughter. And three others will live because of him. His life was good and full. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Ciara said...

You are so brave and an inspiration. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Heather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spanky said...

"He will cover you with his feathers,
and under His wings you will find refuge;
His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."
Psalm 91:4
Eric, I share in your sorrow. . .
-Frankie

Pk Hrezo said...

Hi Eric, I came over from Donna's blog and just wanted to offer my sincerest sympathy. I cannot even imagine. The fact that his precious little body saved 3 other people is just moving and breath-taking. His pure gentle soul rests in heaven now.
Blessings to you and your family. RIP Dastan

Misha Gericke said...

I am so sorry. Words cannot express how sorry I am to read this.

My condolences. My prayers will be with you and your wife.

Phoenix said...

I just read your comment on my last post and almost had to leave the office for crying so hard.

I looked for your email on your blog to email you but I guess this is the best way to reach you.

I am so, so incredibly, deeply sorry. I know you've heard it all lately and I'm just contributing to the noise. Your post for your son moved me to tears and Eric, for what's it worth, you're MY hero. I can't imagine facing life with one fourth the amount of courage or tenacity that you do.

I am so sorry for your loss. Please let me know if there's anything you need that I can help with.

Dingo said...

He is the wind beneath our wings.
Forever a Hero to those he saved. He gave his life, so that others may live, what greater tribute then to never be forgotten. He is a true Angel, and your love for mankind, The ability to give to others at this time, it just an unbelievable act of love. Your beautiful son, and your beautiful family will stay in my heart, warm, and the stars in Heaven shin allot brighter now. Thank you, May God Bless you, and keep you. Susan Z

Lola Sharp said...

I have no words of comfort, because what can I possibly say...just this: I'm sorry. So so so sorry.

Lola Sharp said...

I have no words of comfort, because what can I possibly say...just this: I'm sorry. So so so sorry.

Jai Joshi said...

Oh Eric, I'm weeping for you.

He was such a joy to you. I remember well your excitement shortly before his birth and I cheered for you when he was born.

Even though he was with you for such a short time, the gift of his organs will give such joy to others. You and your family are so brave and good to do that. What a legacy Dastan left!

There's nothing I can say that will help your grief and I'm far too late to make a different anyway. But I want you to know that I and so many others are sending your family love and prayers.

Your friend, Jai.

Beth said...

My daughter was born one year ago today. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. And I admire you for donating your son's organs.

Wendy aka Quillfeather said...

I had no idea until now. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. The pain must be unimaginable.

Love and hugs to you and your family.