Showing posts with label Just for Fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Just for Fun. Show all posts

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Remember this on Valentine's Day


I know it's a manufactured holiday, and aren't they all, but still, Valentine's Day is a fine time to remember you should appreciate your significant other. See, not everyone found a partner with benefits, and a lot of couples don't even like each other. Plus, the axe man comes in the night and widowizes us all.

So, if you're thrice lucky -- you found someone, you actually ~like~ this human, and the axe man's still waiting outside your door, tapping his foot and whetting his blade -- then you should take some time out of your busy, tiresome, stressful, just-let-me-sleep day to show some dadgum love to this person.

Thing is, we sometimes believe we can do things like clean the house or cook a meal. Sure, that's nice, but anyone can do that. Hell, hire a maid and go out to eat. Boom. Done. Those are chores, not gifts.

We think maybe we can say nice things, but we all receive compliments (or should) from plenty of other folks. No big deal. Heck, gussy up and post a selfie, let the damn-girl comments roll in.

Buy a house together! Nope. Roommates do that. Boring.

Vacation? That's fun, but again, lots of folks join you on vacations.

I'm not saying those things don't matter, but they are not the most precious gifts you can provide. They're silver and bronze and copper offerings, and I'm saying you should dig up gold and platinum. Consider what you alone hold in your possession that no other person could or should provide to your partner.

How about this one. She's in the kitchen cooking. She's busy. You're busy. You sidle up behind her, hands on her hips, nibble her neck and say, I love you, baby.

Now, there's a gift you alone can give her. Easy, isn't it, and pure gold.

How about another one. He's in the shower, shaving. You stick your head through the curtain, say, Hey sexy, want some company? After he stops the bleeding (because he realized you were already undressed), you jump in and have some slippery fun-time with him.

How about this one. You wash her car. Fun, right? WRONG! Trick question and here's your neck-slap, because I wanted to see if you were paying attention. Take your damn car to the car wash, this doesn't count.

Try again.

She's on the couch watching her shows. She's under her blanket. She wants to be left alone, and you want to cuddle, but instead of messing with her, you sit down and massage her feet, because you know she's been pounding them all day and they're aching her. I know, a masseuse could do it, but it's the act of offering it freely and unsolicited that matters, along with the kind and meaningful words you say to her. Massages kinda go either way, if you ask me. Same with things like painting her nails, shaving his back, or giving her an enema because she's pregnant and three-days constipated. You know, all those blissful pseudo-intimate encounters that don't involve kissing.

In general, you're shopping for gifts that you alone can offer your lover, gifts that, if another person provided them, would breach the limits of your dedication to one another. The foot massage, for instance, would be very inappropriate if a co-worker did it at work, and who wants someone jumping into the shower while you're at the gym.

See, it's the uniqueness of your gift that matters. It's the fact that you alone can offer it. It is the fact that the gift is within the sacred boundaries of the relationship where the two of you reside alone, together.

Jewelry, cards, flowers, anyone can do that.

But nibbles and cuddles, whispers in bed and swinging from the rafters in scalp-numbing ecstasy, these are gifts you alone can give your most-prized and #1 guy or gal.

That right there, folks, is why we have a partner like this in the first place.


Sunday, June 4, 2017

Is ~LOGAN~ the best-written Marvel movie yet?

So we watched Logan this past weekend, and it was not at all what I expected. I'm not sure what I expected, because I didn't get amped to see it in the theaters, and I wasn't all that anxious to see it when it hit video.

But I kept seeing ads for it -- nicely done, marketeers! -- and I watched the trailer again and this time decided to go ahead and rent it. I read somewhere it was unexpectedly dramatic, and that did it for me.

So we rented it.

My wife watched it with me and my young son. I know, say what you will, but my boy liked it. He is still going on about the "movie with the claws." Then he growls at me. He's three.

I realized it must be a good movie when my wife put down her phone. That right there, folks, is the sign of a good movie in this house!

She cried at the end. My daughter watched it later with a friend of hers. They both cried at the end.

Now, how many Marvel movies have made you cry? Not many, if any. Heck, I don't recall any superhero movie bringing out that much emotion in me. Let me think, hold on and let the worms dig a little... nope I don't recall any superhero movie, at least not a blockbuster sort of movie.

Anyway, Logan stuck with me, and I got to thinking that this might be the best Marvel movie yet. I've watched some of the Netflix Marvels, and although those try to do the same thing as Logan, they fail to reach the same level of depth.

And what was it that Logan did so differently, anyway?

I'll tell you, since you asked.

It depicted very ~HUMAN~ characters. Full of flaws. Full of frustrations. A life of mistakes, but you didn't mean to make those mistakes, they just happened as mistakes tend to happen.

It depicted love on a level that most of us hope to never experience. By that, I mean hard-love. If you've ever had to hard-love someone, you know that's not an enviable thing.

It depicted redemption. It depicted fall and rise. It did all those things it should do if you want to create a touching, moving story that will draw in your audience, regardless of the genre.

I wasn't expecting so much drama from a Marvel installation. Usually these are cheeky and fun, focused on senseless violence and some mind-numbing twists that do not often make sense. I'm looking at you, Guardians 2!

But in any case, Logan was a pleasant surprise. I will probably buy the movie since I would like to watch it a few more times.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that. If you want to see a fine depiction of how a drama-thriller-action-superhero movie is written, watch Logan.


 - Eric



Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Wink and Steps from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

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Monday, December 19, 2016

All I Want for Christmas...

Periodically I write little comments on my wife's bathroom mirror. Goofy stuff like, Beauty begins here, or, My heart is here, and then I add arrows pointing to where her face will be when she looks into the mirror. Stuff like that.

This week, it being near Christmas, I wrote, All I want for Christmas... and added those arrows pointing to where my wife's face will be. She wrote on my mirror, Is you! She drew a happy face.

And it is true. All I want for Christmas is my wife, and I tell her every year she is all I want, and I mean it. I don't think she believes me, so I decided to write it down. For some reason, writing things down adds a veracity and absolution to events that cannot be duplicated verbally.

So here it goes, My Love! I am making a list of the gifts you have given me over the years, ones you may not even realize you delivered, but which have been received and noted all the same. This is why you are my most treasured gift, and why you truly, truly are all I want for Christmas.


Christmas, 2005: Beauty

I simultaneously finalized my divorce with my oldest son's mother and met an amazing woman named Amanda. It was almost as if I had jumped overboard expecting to land in the ocean, only to find myself laid out on the deck of a passing ship. I had recently written a story about a man in such a situation who met a woman named Amanda, and I let her read the story, and I may post it later because it is short and sweet. She was beautiful. She still is, and perhaps I had not landed on another ship when I abandoned the old one. Perhaps I had washed onto the shores of a wonderful oasis, and she was cold water on burnt lips.

Oh, she was amazing. She still is, and I loved her from the moment we met. No awkward silences. No shy discomfort. I took her hand. I asked her to dance. She said, No, but she danced with me anyway and never let go of my hand. I taught her to two-step. She reminded me how beautiful life could be. One touch, one playful flirt, keep my hands to myself and no kissing on the first date, and is this our first date?

We spun that night, and somehow we were already an old couple. Neither of us felt those pangs and worries you feel when you first meet someone and sort of wonder if this is going to work out. There was none of that. It was absolute in that moment as when you hold a newborn child.

I loved this woman. There were no conditions on that statement, nothing she had to do to earn my affection. This love simply was.

She is a book I must have read in another life, because I already knew her, and she knew me, and with such primal knowledge there was no need for pretense or doubt or insecurity.

And that year, in 2005, the woman who would become my wife and bear me two sons showed me a beauty I had long, long forgotten.


Christmas, 2006: Passion

What else could follow such a beginning but passion? We were in love, and we danced, and we celebrated life and youth and freedom. We lit a gasoline bonfire, and that outburst from the darkness blinded us, seared our cheeks, and we reveled until the flames began to settle, and the light came back to our eyes. We found ourselves hovered together over a glowing warmth neither of us had ever experienced or expected.

Honestly, it scared the ever-living shit out of me.


Christmas, 2007: Patience

Oh, Lord did it scare me. I was terrified, and I had for so long allowed dark angels to perch on my shoulder and whisper in my ear that I followed their advice and ripped the petals off this incredible flower. I threw it in the fire, stomped the ashes and ran. I dove in the ocean and slapped the waves, and I left this beautiful, beautiful woman alone to stoke the embers.

Is patience even the right word for this year? Perhaps it should be tolerance, or faith, or something more befitting and specific, but I do believe patience encompasses these things. An underlying faith exists that things will turn out all right. There is a tolerance for the wait, and what happens while you watch the clock tock. She showed faith. She showed tolerance. She showed patience.

It was not a pretty year, and I did not swim very far from shore before I missed her warmth. My heart beat too heavy, and I sank. There really was no other choice but to turn back, wade ashore, sling off the muck and hope to receive what so few people are capable of giving.

I asked, and in 2008, this woman granted me the gift God himself believes is holy enough to sacrifice his own son.


Christmas, 2008: Forgiveness

She granted me forgiveness. I asked. She forgave. It was that easy, and here is that beauty I have seen since our first dance.

She even shares some of the guilt for my behavior, though she was not to blame. Fault lies entirely on me, and reading this she will likely sway her head, and if I were behind her she would turn and say, No, I did this and that, remember?

No you did not, Love. What you did was suffer, and then forgive without condition. That would be my answer to her, and she still would shake her head and insist on dividing my sins between us. She would probably tell me to go in the other room, now, and quit pestering her so she can read.

Not only did she forgive, but she asked for nothing in return and demanded no punitive damages. We simply sat down at our fire, uncovered the coals because they never died, not really, and began collecting sticks to rebuild something we both knew could be beautiful again.


Christmas, 2009: Determination

We rebuilt. We rekindled. We stacked logs on one another and I shrugged away those dark angels clinging to my shoulder. They fluttered over us, though, waiting, because they never go away, not really. They only shy from the light and crouch in the shadows. So we built up the fire. We surrounded ourselves with friends and family who believed in the light we could envision so vividly, and we bent our backs and poured the foundation of our home together.

Truly, this year my future wife kicked in the door to my heart. She dragged in her furniture and clothes and ensconced herself deep in my core and refused to budge, nor would I ever want her to leave. She is right where I want her, and there is a certain warmth to knowing someone will fight to keep you, or slug through dark waters to find you. I would have my own chance to test my patience and determination later, but first... we had to celebrate!


Christmas, 2010: Joy

Oh, the light began to shine. A boy was born. He cemented two older siblings who shared no blood. He joined a man and woman who both thought they might be too broken to find happiness. This year was pure joy, and this amazing woman spun in the center of it all, and here she would stop me and say, No, I didn't. It was all of us.

To which I would respond, Yes, you did. This was all you, and without your determination and will and grace, none of this would have happened.


Christmas, 2011: Bliss

What is bliss, really? It is living within the light such that you can see none of the dark. That is bliss. We lived in the light, and the dark angels flew far above. We embraced friends and family who would walk with us, and we lived what might have been the happiest year of either of our lives thus far.

Wanna get married? I was not very formal.

Neither was she. Sure, she said. How about Saint Patty's Day.

Perfect, I said.

And here is that old couple so comfortable with one another, married for lifetimes and many more to come. Neither of us felt any compulsion to pretend to be someone we were not. It was bliss. It was heaven. It was a wonderful, wonderful life, and she spun and I twirled her and our children danced around us, and the dark angels circled just beyond where we could see.

We made plans. She bought a dress, and that Christmas we shared a pleasant bliss that the light would forever burn around us.


Christmas, 2012: Strength

We married. Our two oldest children, bound now by one little boy dressed as a Leprechaun, red-headed, blue eyed, fair cheeked and protective of his gold-wrapped chocolates as the fairy creature he was, witnessed this woman give me her hand as she had on the first night we met. This time when I asked, she said, Yes, and we danced, and we celebrated, and the dark angels fell from the sky on a clear summer evening.

They took the little boy and flew him away. The joke was on them, because the boy left his heart with us, inside a little girl, but they knocked down this beautiful woman with their wing beats, stomped our fire and heaped sand on the ashes. They knocked us all down, and in some ways they still haunt our yard and peek through the windows, and we have to chase them away with a torch and a rock.

But here my wife made her own dash into the ocean, and she slapped the water and she screamed, and the dark angels shouted around her and there was nothing I could do but watch.

So I sat at our fire. I found a few embers, and I stoked them, and I waited. See, this woman about to drown herself had taught me patience, and when she waded ashore and slung off the muck and asked for that gift so few people are capable of giving, I said, Sit down, it was my fault, too. She had taught me grace and forgiveness as well.

And we sat for a while. We gathered wood, because she had taught me that steel-willed determination can lift mountains. We watched the flames begin to catch, and those friends and family who had seen the light with us huddled around us and provided warmth while the fire began to grow and a new light shone from the flames.

This new light was strength. These are blue flames, if you wonder, the color of dusk and dawn, and they are closest to the burn and sometimes not visible. They are the hottest flames. They may not chase away the dark angels with their light, but they will turn them to ashes if you can put their feathers to the test.

She and I burned blue that year, as did our two older children, as did our friends and family who could see the blue flame growing within my wife. The darkness shied away from us, but there was work to do and work that remains, because these creatures do not die easily.


Christmas, 2013: Encouragement

This Christmas my wife gave me endless encouragement. We decided to have another child, and at the same time I started a company and abandoned a flailing career. It was hard work and a headlong charge into the unknown. There was doubt. There was uncertainty. The dark angels whispered to us that we would fail, that we were weak, that we were misguided fools owing to the loss of our child and should do as we were told and douse our fire and quit.

My wife met this with the same determination she always meets challenges. She bent her head and got to work. She encouraged me. She supported me. She walked with me and I walked with her, sometimes leading, sometimes following, but always together in lock-step lock-arm, into the unknown, swatting away the doubters and waving our flames to snuff out the shadows. This was a Christmas of healing, still sore but not so wounded, and one in which we looked forward to the next year and the year after that.


Christmas, 2014: Hope

In 2014, for Christmas my wife bagged and tagged a bountiful bouquet of hope for me and our children. Another boy was born. His brother had ushered in joy. This one ushered in hope.

Life had swerved us down a back road that led to a destination unknown. There was only hope that we would find more light, faith that we had the strength and determination to get there. But we had been prepared for this journey, and my wife inspired hope in us all that we would find light amidst whatever the dark angels could drop from the sky.

As always, she was right. I believe she will agree heartily when I say she is always right.


Christmas, 2015: Optimism

In 2015, again the angels swarmed us, but they are no match for the blue flame and we know that, now. My wife casually fought them. It was like watching an ape fight a kitten, almost cruel how easily she dismissed the darkness of a failing business and the flap of wings as the whispers and threats began to surface from mouths we thought we had seared shut.

It was too easy for her. She is that strong. Our friends huddled around us. We stoked our fire. We cleaned our home and honed our strength against the stone of this new challenge. We employed all these skills my wife has inspired in me and our children, and showed the heart she inspires in everyone she meets.

She granted me optimism for Christmas in 2015. She reminded me of the hope she had given me the year before, and regifted her encouragement from 2013 with an extra box of strength she had saved up all year to purchase.

And there again is that beauty. Truly her beauty is the gift that keeps on giving.

She really is that strong, and her youthful, blissful, beautiful, magical optimism is another blue flame. She displays this optimism in everything she does, and she has all along, and I finally put my finger on the source of her strength.

It is an undying optimism that the future will always be a pleasant place to live, and that we should live there together for as long as we can.


Christmas, 2016: Wisdom

This year, I already figured out what she got me for Christmas. She is getting me wisdom. I think by now that should be pretty obvious.


 - Eric



Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Wink and Steps from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

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Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Recipe: How to Make a Fear Sandwich

A Fear Sandwich is my favorite recipe. I eat it daily, and have found it keeps me healthy and spry. Your body might give out, maybe even your mind, but your will and faith should always remain as young and strong and fearless as a toddler's.

Ingredients

1 cup Fear
1/2 cup Doubt
1/2 cup Insecurity
2 tbsp Luck (more if you think it will help)
1 lb of Fresh Faith
2 pieces of Hard-Baked Determination


First, mix the Fear and Doubt thoroughly. I find beating them with a whisk not only creates the best mixture, but also makes me feel better. Beat the hell out of these two.

Once mixed, add half the Insecurity. Do not add it all. We'll add more later. Beat thoroughly.

Sprinkle in your Luck and let it settle for no less than five minutes. The Luck takes time, so be patient. I find setting a clock works the best, and if you let it settle for longer than five minutes, it will only thicken the mixture. You can add more Luck if you like, but a little Luck goes a long way.

By the way, I've found my best Luck at a store called Grindnose, on the corner of Workhard and Sweat, here in Dallas. You probably have something similar in your town.

Once the mixture has thickened, add the rest of your Insecurity. Beat it into a well-destroyed, unrecognizable mixture, with the consistency and color of creamy peanut butter.

Spread to 1/4" thickness on a covered baking sheet and bake at 450 degrees for 45 minutes. You must bake at an excessive temperature in order to leach out the Bitterness and firm up the Luck.

Once baked, place on cooling rack for ten minutes. While cooling, grate your Faith into a cup, and sprinkle over the Fear-patty to melt. Your Faith may seem to dissolve, but this is how it clings to the Fear. The Faith will spread and cover the entire Fear-patty if you lay it out properly. Ensure there are no gaps or holes where the Fear can seep through.

Flip the patty and cover the underbelly. Do not forget this, as the underbelly of Fear can be the most tasteless part of this recipe.

If you need more Faith, add it. This is one ingredient you cannot overuse.

Now, you can buy your Hard-Baked Determination at Grindnose, or you can bake your own. Either way, slice two pieces of Determination to fit your Fear. Cut to length and width. Make sure the Determination hangs beyond the edges of your Fear, as you do not want even small pieces of Fear protruding beyond your Determination. A bite of pure Fear, without a mouthful of Determination and Faith, ranks as one of the most repulsive flavors you can create.

You can then season to flavor by adding such ingredients as Joy, Celebration, and Ecstasy (not the drug). I like to sprinkle a bit of Gloat over the top, since that helps subdue the Fear, but this is a personal preference. Too much Gloat can be spicy, and can cause unseemly side-effects, so use this with caution.

Whatever your taste, enjoy your Fear Sandwich!

What about youDo you have a favorite recipe you would like to share?



Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Wink and Steps from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

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Thursday, April 9, 2015

Obstacle Popsicle

You know, I run into this all the time: Obstacles.

Many folks run. Some hide. Others turn around and go home. Me, I tend to curse a little. Stomp around a little. I spin a few circles, flip it off, think about going home, and then either I or my wife talks me out of quitting.

Then, after all that (and it is sort of the way a dog goes to sleep -- three laps, makes no sense, but that's their method), I buckle down and lick it.

I lick it like a popsicle.

Obstacle popsicle. Get it?

- Eric


Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Out of the Great Black Nothing and Wink from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

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Thursday, April 3, 2014

Things that sound dirty, but aren't

Just for fun, you know how some things sound dirty but aren't? Well, here are some examples.

Kum & Go. It's a gas station. (from their website)



Here's a picture of a tall skinny blonde with room for cream, to go. Who doesn't want one of these! (from their website)



How about a sea cucumber. I think this one's played out, but it's still worth mentioning. I couldn't find any youtube vids that were appropriate, so feel free to look it up yourself.

You ever thought about the term Hump Day? Meatball? Blow pop? Beef jerky?

I can think of at lease one good reason not to put a Sit-n-Spin in my rear-entry.

How'd you like to be a coxswain? (from Wiki)


What if you caught a homo erectus in your bathroom jiggling his ballcock. You might say to him, Be gentle! You'll break it!

He might jiggle it so hard he falls and breaks his coccyx.

Let's imagine the guy is an animal lover, and he has for pets a titmouse and a shih tzu.


- Eric




Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Out of the Great Black Nothing and Wink from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

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Saturday, March 22, 2014

A Celebration of Life

So we're at this funeral. Not just ~a~ funeral, but one for a close friend. We haven't been friends for hundreds of years, but we've been dear friends, we've been near friends, we've been there-for-you-friends.

Anyway, it's a big funeral, lots of folks and oddly enough, not a lot of tears. I mean, there were tears, but it wasn't a sob-fest like you might be used to. I saw tons of smiles, shaking hands, hugs, heard laughter and chuckles, and maybe some of that was because we brought our baby boy Finn with us. He's six weeks old. Little guy. He was hard to hold because everyone wanted to hold him. Finn was good, too. He didn't cry.

You see, not even the baby cried.

Now, it wasn't for lack of sorrow that this was not the usual sob-fest. It was because of who we were celebrating. And there's a word I want you to remember -- ~celebration~.

This was less of a funeral and more of a celebration. There was no need for anyone to spin it that way, nor did he have to insist people remember him fondly or with a smile. It was a simple extension of his personality, a gentle man, a wise man, a man of mistakes who learned from those mistakes and blamed only himself when he faulted, all the while crediting his success to those around him.

So the Father, or Preacher, or Reverend, I'm not sure what you call him -- he's Episcopalian and I'm lucky to spell that word without the spell-checker (a minor miracle I spelled it correctly!), and anyway I don't know what they call the church leader. I'll just call him the Father, for sake of argument, and because I like the sound of it.

Anyway, the Father gets up and he knows the man, and he says some nice words about him, and then four people line up for the eulogy.

Yep, you read that right. Four people. Have you ever been to a funeral -- nay sayeth I, a ~celebration~ of life -- that required four people to speak? First a childhood friend. Then a son. Then a granddaughter. Then another granddaughter. All of them shared joyous moments, and it's a credit to the man that his children and his children's children spoke so eloquently, so plainly, so heartfeltedly and magnificently that you cannot help but see his influence on their hearts.

The friend goes first, and she relates his childhood, and apparently he never quite grew up. Of course we already knew that, but it was nice to have validation.

Then the son. Now his son is an atheist. The man himself was a staunch Christian, albeit a Christian scientist and engineer, a nuclear physicist for all intents and purposes. So his son apologizes for not being a man of faith, or a believer I think is how he put it. He gets up and says, and I paraphrase, horribly, so please excuse me, he says, I'm not a believer, but I'll do my best.

He then goes on about particles and the Cosmos, and he wraps it up by saying, I'm not a believer, but I really like this quote, so let me read it to you.

Recognize that the very molecules that make up your body, the atoms that construct the molecules, are traceable to the crucibles that were once the centers of high mass stars that exploded their chemically rich guts into the galaxy, enriching pristine gas clouds with the chemistry of life. So that we are all connected to each other biologically, to the earth chemically and to the rest of the universe atomically. That’s kinda cool! That makes me smile and I actually feel quite large at the end of that. It’s not that we are better than the universe, we are part of the universe. We are in the universe and the universe is in us.

― Neil deGrasse Tyson

Holy crap, right! What a perfect quote for a Christian scientist.

And if that doesn't sound like God at work I don't know what to tell you. We are all connected, and we are in God and God is in us. I bastardize the poor guy's quote for my own purposes because that's how I roll.

Now the first granddaughter gets up and she goes on about how her Cap -- that's what they call him, Cap, because he was a Navy Captain -- always went on about how important math and science are. You see why that Tyson quote was so perfect, yes?

The second granddaughter shuts down the room with her speech. It was so moving and perfect that you felt the room swell with her words. She's young, barely a teenager, but those words were steeped in wisdom and understanding beyond what most people achieve in a lifetime. Everyone in the room thought the same thing I thought -- she gets it from him. He was like that, too.

She sits down and the other granddaughter and the son and the friend sit down, and the Father comes back to the front, claps his hands, smiles, and says, paraphrased horribly, I want to thank you for those words. And for the atheist, I personally believe this church was built to be filled with atheists.

We all laugh. Laughter at a funeral. You see what I mean? A celebration of life.

The whole day was like that, as was his life, as will be his afterlife and the lingering lives he touched, all of them filled with a little more laughter and a bigger smile and wiser words and maybe a little extra math and science, all of which I believe we could use a bit more of.

He will be missed and remembered fondly, and above all he will be celebrated.

Celebrate in Peace, John Marshall.

- Eric




Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Out of the Great Black Nothing and Wink from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Who (author) would you meet, if you could?

So I had this great interview today on Words by Webb: http://jodiwebb.com/interviews/5ws-with-eric-trant/, in which Jodi asked me her 5Ws.

Here is the first:


WHO
If you could meet any author, who would you like to meet? Why them and what would you say?

I would meet Ray Bradbury. We would meet not in life but in some other dimension on the planet Mars, in his bionical and maniacal House of Usher II remix with the robots serving us and the great ape destroying our guests while everyone laughs. Something Wicked would Come our Way, and we would ponder how the Martians used to look and whether the Earth would blow up and if anyone would even notice, and if they did notice, would they care. I would walk with him on the wettest, driest, farthest planets, and we would launch into space while we Sang the Body Electric and drew the Illustrated Man on the inside of our visors. I cannot claim to have read or even discovered all of his works, but we would discuss every one, and he might ask me about mine and not laugh.




Just wanted to share that, in case anyone was wondering. WHO WOULD YOU MEET? If it's Vonnegut or Heinlein or Azimov or Clarke or one of similar status, let me know so I can go with you.


- Eric


Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Out of the Great Black Nothing and Wink from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

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Monday, July 8, 2013

The Milky Way, Einstein, Two Tweener-Teens, an Old Man, Aristotle, and Other Meanderings

The Milky Way is still up there. I have visual confirmation, along with second-hand verification from several other people. Good to know it's still there, because I haven't seen it in quite some time.

I went to Garner this past week with my family. That's Garner State Park in the Texas Hill Country outside of San Antonio. The nights were so clear I could see all the way to the edge of the universe like I did when I was a kid in East Texas. There were the stars, the constellations, and for a while I thought it was a cloud bank way up high and clear.

Then it hit me. That's the Milky Way! Holy crap it's been a while since I saw that thing. See, I've been in the city since I was twelve years old. I moved to a small town, but it was outside of Houston toward Beaumont, and all those refinery lights bled out the Milky Way. You can see the stars, but not that cluster-cloud so deep in space that you can feel it tugging at you.

I saw it and stared at it for a while, and then I called the kids over and we all looked up at it. Funny what happened next. There was this long moment of silence after I explained what it was, and then my daughter, 13, says, So I wonder if we can see Dastan's star.

I said, Nope. His star is not visible with the naked eye.

Silence. Then she said, I bet if all the stars were visible, the whole sky would be one big star.

Probably.

Then she explained how right and left were relative to the way you were standing, and she turned and showed me the MW was now on her left, turned, now on her right, but it was always in front of me and to the right of her brother.

I said, Now you understand Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Same thing, only he uses a lot more math to make that simple point.

I wasn't trying to be smart, she said.

You don't have to. This is what happens when you get outside the city and de-hypnotize yourself from all the advertising and consumerism and look up and see the universe. You feel it, don't you.

It's like there are strings everywhere. That was my son who said that.

What do you mean?

I mean it's like you can feel the stars tugging at you. Like there are strings.

That's what scientists used to think. They thought there was this thing called Aether that everything flows through. It wasn't until Einstein chunked that theory and developed relativity that they abandoned the Aether. Even so, Einstein and his contemporaries believed the Aether would probably come back into play later, after we evolved better theories. That's the string you're talking about.

Hmm. I wasn't trying to be smart, he said.

It's the Milky Way. It does that to you.

So we talked about Dastan, and who else we wanted to see when we died, and that got us onto the subject of God, and at that point we had to sit. So the three of us sat on a parking curb-stop and kept looking up. I saw a shooting star but they missed it. They missed the other one I saw later, too. Maybe I was seeing things.

Why don't some people believe in God? my daughter asked.

There are only two types of people in this world. It has nothing to do with belief. There are only those who realize God, and those who do not. It's like discussing whether a fire is hot or cold, but you never touch it.

Like with a tub of water, she said. Like if you never get in, you never know if it's hot or cold.

Like that. You have to experience God. You feel him, don't you?

Yeah, she said.

Yeah, my son said.

But why don't people believe when you tell them? my daughter said.

Well, it's like explaining a rainbow to a clam. They don't get it.

You think every planet has its own God? That was my son again.

What do you mean?

Like, we have our God here, but way out there is another God, and we all see something different. Like different rainbows. Like, do they see the same red we see?

That's actually a common philosophical argument. They wonder if your red is my yellow, and her blue is your green, and so on. We don't even know if we see each other the same, like does my human look like your dog, and so on. Some people believe there is either one universal consciousness, or maybe patches of consciousness in the universe. That we all seem to see the same red when we see red implies a common consciousness.

So we all have the same God.

Right. And if there is other life, which there is bound to be, we may not even be able to see each other. We'd pass by and never even know we'd passed.

Like one is a clam and the other is a rainbow. We'd have no common God and would never see each other.

Right. You know we have five senses. You know there is only one that is common to every known living creature.

Sight? My son said. Then he thought about the clams and ran through his senses with his sister. They touched their noses, tongues, ears, eyes, and finally my son said, TOUCH!

It was a eureka moment for him, and I said, Aristotle reached that same conclusion.

I wasn't trying to be smart.

It's not you. It's the Milky Way. Keep looking up. Even trees have touch. They feel gravity and the sunlight and know when it's cold and time to drop their leaves.

They like water, my daughter said.

Yep. Touch is the common link between life. Feeling. What you feel right now looking up is life. Can you feel the Milky Way?

Well. Can you?


- Eric


Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Out of the Great Black Nothing and Wink from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

I am ~FEARLESS~ (Are you?)

Are you FEARLESS? I am.

What do I have to fear? What do I have to fear? What do I have to fear?

Consider that question, my friends and word-lovers.


What do I have to fear?

There is only one answer, and it is the same regardless of the cause of the question. It is the same answer for every person, for every living creature, since the dawn of time until the dusk of time, for this time and all other eternities that come to rise.

We have only one fear. It is deeply rooted in the deepest part of our deepest self, something so innate that even the basest of life forms possess this fear.

It is this: we fear failure.

Simple. We fear that we are about to fail. Corner a wild animal, and it will fear for its life. Why? Because it fears it is about to fail to protect itself, or its young, and its life will end with that failure.

Nobody is afraid of heights. We are afraid we will fail to remain at that height and fall. Ask a jumper if they fear the fall, and the answer is No. They fear the parachute will fail to open.

Do you see? Do you really, really see? We fear failure, and failure alone.

We fear asking a girl to dance, because we fear we will fail. We fear submitting our writing to publishers, because we fear we will fail. We fear spiders, because, well, I can't explain that one. Spiders are a category unto themselves.

But for everything else, we fear failure. I say often that successful people are too stupid to realize they could fail. They are FEARLESS.

I have nothing to fear. If you know my story, you know I lost my son last year at 18mos old. My worst fear, that I would fail to protect my children, was realized. For nine months now, my courage has gestated, until this month it was borne unto a greater cause, and I plunge fearlessly into a new phase of my life. I embrace my fear. I embrace the huge changes coming. I embrace the fact that I could fail, because I could fail, and that failure, no matter how catastrophic, is a tiny drop compared to the fear I have already faced with the loss of a child.

Perhaps that is a small part of God's will in this, and his words as I read them are these:


Hope is the better part of fear. Your success depends on which is greater.

Are you fearless? Do you embrace the fact that you could fail? Do you equally embrace hope that you could ~succeed~?


- Eric


Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novel Out of the Great Black Nothing. He is currently working on his second full-length novel with WiDo Publishing, coming in 2013! See more of Eric's work here: Publications

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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Do you feel LUCKY?

This is a post on LUCK and how it applies to writing.

Let me start with the famous quote from Mr. Eastwood:

I know what you’re thinking: "Did he fire six shots, or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well do ya, Punk?

Ask yourself that question: Do you feel LUCKY?

As a writer, much of our success is determined by luck. I don't have the numbers, but I bet luck makes up better than 70% of whether we are published at all, and the number goes up from there as you chase larger and larger publishers.

If you don't believe luck plays a huge role, then you have not been paying attention. King is famous for his ~wife~ submitting his breakout novel Carrie, in a unique manner, to someone who just happened to read it and appreciate it. How lucky is that!

Well, this post is about creating your own luck.

HOW TO GENERATE YOUR OWN LUCK

There are two ingredients to luck. The first is Persistence. Every time you try, you play the odds that you might get lucky (and land that publisher!). As you try less and less, your luck approaches zero, until at last you quit, and the chance of you being lucky is now an absolute zilch.

So Persist! Keep trying! My goal with writing is not to get published. My goal is to write until I die, or no longer have the mental and physical capacity to write. I hope at some point I will be picked up by a large publishing house, but I cannot control that event. All I can do is keep trying, keep trying, keep trying.

Which I will.

The second ingredient to luck is Intelligence! If all you do is Persist in the same way, over and over, you will never increase your luck chances. Instead, Persist in a SMARTER way each time.

If your book is not getting picked up, write another book. Make it better. Invest in some How-To books on writing, publishing, editing, and so forth. You are an expert on any topic if you read at least 5 books on that topic.

Are you an expert on writing? I am, a couple times over. Most published authors are.

Persist with Intelligence.

If you question that these are the two ingredients of luck, I want you to watch The World Series of Poker sometime.

These gamblers Persist by coming back to the table over and over, win or lose. They also are Intelligent about their craft.

Nobody argues that Poker requires luck, but as every Poker player will tell you: It isn't "gambling" if you know what you're doing.

The point is this: If you Persist Intelligently, luck will find you! You ~can~ beat the odds.

For my current novel, which I am querying, I plan to collect 30 rejections. Maybe one or two will result in a full-read, and maybe one will land a contract. This is Persistence.

I am also researching not only agents and publishers, but also studying for my next novel, and polishing up my editing skills (as always, keep the axe sharp!). This is Intelligence.

If you Persist Intelligently, if you are Intelligently Persistent, you ~will~ eventually find that luck that so many have missed.

Keep the faith.

Do you Persist Intelligently? Name a success of yours, a time when you earned a Blue Ribbon 1st Place, and tell me you didn't get there with Persistent Intelligence. I dare ya, Punk.



Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novel Out of the Great Black Nothing. He is currently represented by Debrin Case at Open Heart Publishing. See more of Eric's work here: Publications

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Monday, June 18, 2012

A Prayer for Daz


For my wife, my love, and for my children, here is a prayer-poem written not by a stranger, but by Daddy, just for our Little Man.

For Dastan

Alrighty Almighty, you got my kid. I don't know if you took him, or if he came of his own free will, or if you needed him, or if this was just one of those suck-parts that come with life, but he's there and I'm here, and you're gonna have to get a few things straight.

First off, his name is Dastan. It's not Dustin, or Datsun, or Destin. It is DASTAN.

I know, it's a Persian name. To make it more complicated, we added two German names: Jerome Wheeler.

And to top it off, his last name is TRANT. Not Trent or Tramp. TRANT.

I know it's complicated, and if you get it right you'll be the first. I just want to make sure you understand who you're dealing with.

Next you need to teach him a few things. Start with his colors. He was learning them at school, and best we can tell he liked the color purple the best.

Now show him how to throw the ball for the dogs. He already had a good start on that, along with tug-of-war. You have a Golden up there who is perfect for Daz (Daz is short for Dastan, God, in case you missed that).

The Golden's name is Lexi. She died of raging cancer at the age of 9. Nice one. She loves the water, and guess what, so does Dastan. Teach him to throw the ball in the lake (I assume you have lakes), and let Lexi chase it. If it isn't now, it will be Daz's favorite game. It sure was Lexi's!

Now teach him to be sweet like his momma. Teach him to play like his brother and sister.

Teach him love, Lord, now that you have him. Let his legacy be a stronger family and a better world. Give us strength, let us mourn, and every once in a while, let us feel Little Man's arms around our neck.

That was another one of his names. Little Man. Dazaster. Dazaroo. Daz. His sister made a memorial t-shirt that you can read. It has a lot more names than those.

It is true to say the little guy was everything to everyone in this family. Let him be so to you, Lord, as I know he must be, because you love no other way.

I have a beautiful family, Lord, and a beautiful baby son who is in your care. I suppose your wingspan covers us all, God, but for Daz, for our Little Man, please, please.

Just please.

Until my heart stops beating, God, it will ache for him, and mine is not the only one. Make this good, Lord, please make this good.

Amen

PS. He loved Kermit the Frog. If you haven't already, get him one. He likes to chew on the nose.


- Eric



Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novel Out of the Great Black Nothing. He is currently represented by Debrin Case at Open Heart Publishing. See more of Eric's work here: Publications

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

If I can get through this


Here's my official song these days. This Friday will be four weeks since my son had his seizure. Friday will mark four weeks since, since, since everything.

This is my afterlife, the life after. This is our life beyond, for my family, and for those around us who were affected by my son's passing.

This is that life you imagine when someone says, "I can't imagine life without you."

Only we don't have to imagine, do we?

I keep singing this song. Some of the lyrics don't make a damned bit of sense, but they ring true, sort of like Pearl Jam's Yellow Ledbetter. You hear what you want to hear, what you need to hear.

In any case, I am making progress on my current WiP. I have written almost 10kw since last week. They have been hard words, and I don't know if they are flat or vibrant, but they are on paper, by God, at least in the electrical metaphorical sense of "being on paper."

I am making forward progress. I am moving upward, up up up, always up.

And if I can get through this, I can get through anything, by God.

I mean, what have I to fear when my greatest fear is passed?

Answer: Not a goddamned thing. I face God's own pain, the one He touts as His greatest gift to mankind, and I say: Hey God, my son was only eighteen months old. Yours was a middle-aged man who everyone thought was a lunatic. You got yours back after three short days, but mine isn't coming back, not by my hand, at least.

So what else you got, Old Man? Bring it. Whatever fear I had, left with my son's last breath.

Wishing you all the best. Your prayers and heartfelt thoughts are physical.


- Eric



Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novel Out of the Great Black Nothing. He is currently represented by Debrin Case at Open Heart Publishing. See more of Eric's work here: Publications

Friday, June 8, 2012

Premoniscient Writing

Just realized "premoniscient" is not a word! Premonition is, as is pronunciamento (proclamation), but premoniscient is not in the dictionary.

Am I spelling it correctly?

Moving along.

Have you ever written something that was premoniscient? You went back later, read it, and realized you lived the story after you wrote it?

I have done that twice.

The first was my first book, circa 2001. It involved divorce, and was written several years before my own divorce. Some of the scenes showed up in real-life later, especially one of my MC hitting on women at a bar.

I will not go into the second one, as it involves my present WIP, and my present circumstance, namely the loss of a child. But it is oddly premoniscient (sp?).

How about you? Have you ever written something that later resembled your life in an uncanny way?

- Eric



Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novel Out of the Great Black Nothing. He is currently represented by Debrin Case at Open Heart Publishing. See more of Eric's work here: Publications

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Reviews: Some random thoughts

Reviews are a part of human existence. We care what other people think about us.

We are susceptible to the opinion of others, and that makes us uniquely human. So many things make us unique -- we are hairless, fragile, weak, uncoordinated mammals, and have only a rudimentary sense of smell that leaves us the laughing stock of all our mammalian brothers and sisters -- but more importantly, we excel in our ability to criticize, compliment, judge, and study everything around us.

We revel in our ability to analyze. There is the crux of it. We call it reason, and we flex our mental muscles against the strength of the lion, and inflate our genius until it crushes the bluest whale beneath its weight.

We are human! We are stronger, larger, and more brilliant than any living force on this or any planet in the galaxy! We are intelligent life, and none may be found elsewhere in all the universe! We are thus because we think!

I think. Therefore, I am.

We say this as a virus eats us, and if it could laugh, it would, but its mouth is far too full to smile.

Part of our brilliance is the ability to review not only God's creations, but our own. Such a pretty cloud, we say, when we feel like complimenting God. Or, if we are in a sour mood, we curse and say, Sky looks ugly today. Better not rain on the most intelligent and beautiful of all God's creations.

A dog never thinks that. A dog simply looks up, says, How 'bout that, and goes back to sniffing the world as we will never smell.

Which brings me, somehow, to the book review. Extrapolate this to any sort of review, but I will limit this to a book review.

Specifically, I will ponderize the negative book review, and the patronizingly positive review.

I will start first with the second, the patronizingly positive review, or PPR, as I shall now refer to it.

The PPR is this: it is flattery.

Not that we all don't enjoy flattery. You look fine in that dress, and size doesn't matter.

We all need that sort of PPR from time to time, as writers, as workers, as lovers and parents and children. Sometimes all it takes is someone saying, Good job, even when you know it wasn't. Sometimes, that little bump in your spirit will translate into a more beautifuller work down the road.

Good job becomes not a flattering compliment, but a goal.

Now you want to live up to that expectation. So you try harder.

There are negative points to the PPR, but I will not indulge in a negative review here.

Which brings me to the negative review.

Negative reviews make no sense to me. They are jib-jab thoughts aimed at the jaw of someone who did something they could not. Rarely do we see experts throw out negative criticism of their peers.

Why is it that giants in the field of writing do not crush new and inferior writers? It is simple, really. It is because they see no value in the negative criticism.

Superstars in any field get to top by ignoring the negative critics, laughing at the hecklers, and showing up when everyone says they should quit and go home.

I do not mean that constructive criticism is ignored. I mean that negative criticism is ignored. It has no value.

It also makes no sense, in a logical, Vulcan-Spock sort of way. Why would a person read a book they hate, and then feel compelled to write about it?

Books I hate get tossed half-read, if that much, often with a partial skim to make sure that yep, that book should have a white stripe down its back, as a warning to others.

True, I hate that book, but the next reader may think it's the best thing since the Missionary Position.

Anyway, there are my random thoughts on the book review, and reviews in general. I've been getting reviews on my current book, Out of the Great Black Nothing, and am looking forward to visiting Donna Hole next week for a formal review from one of my peers. I haven't sought out reviews, mainly because I am apoplectically shy about discussing my book.

My friends and co-workers are always asking me about my books and what I write. I answer quietly, quickly, and deflect the subject away from me, a technique I now shall demonstrate...

Any random thoughts on reviews, critics, or discussing your work? Do you believe as I do that negative reviews are inherently illogical?


- Eric



Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novel Out of the Great Black Nothing. He is currently represented by Debrin Case at Open Heart Publishing. See more of Eric's work here: Publications






Thursday, May 3, 2012

10,000 Years from Now

They'll look back on us and say our greatest contribution was toilet paper.

They'll call us The Age of Oil, and say the internal combustion engine was the most destructive invention of all time.

They'll wonder why we went to the moon, came home, and never returned.

They'll marvel at our obsession with gunpowder.

They'll ridicule our notion of credit, and call us indentured servants to the financial engine.

Baffled, they will wrinkle their noses at our befuddlement of atomic energy, and call us monkey-minded scientists who had no clue what they had harnessed.

They'll call us disillusioned, mislead sheep, hypnotized by a media-entertainment engine that intruded every second of our waking lives.

They'll laugh at us. They will laugh and laugh, and when they finish laughing, they will pity us no less than we laugh and pity the caveman for his simple, hard-lived life, the life of an idiot who knew no better.

They will say we got what we deserved.

They'll read this post and say, That man Eric-something was a genius. Pity nobody remembered him.


- Eric


What else will they say? Positive thoughts, maybe, such as They were really tall back then, before the Great Extinction?



Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novel Out of the Great Black Nothing. He is currently represented by Debrin Case at Open Heart Publishing. See more of Eric's work here: Publications

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Zombie Sex and Hot Pistols

I took my son on his first pistol-shoot yesterday, at the local public gun range. He selected the zombie target, of course, and after he blew off the zombie's head, he then disabled the zombie's ability to reproduce.

And as he pulverized the zombie's man-parts, it got me to thinking.

My first thought was this: Do zombies have sex? Would a zombie couple have baby zombie children?

Like a good writer, I let my mind wander down that path, and another thought popped up: Would a zombie guy call it a stiffie? Get it? He's a stiff.

Does that make them necrophiliacs? Would a zombie nymphomaniac be a necronympho?

Still wandering and wondering along this forbidden path, methinks: I wonder what sounds the necronympho would make. Would she moan?

Of course she would moan. She would scream like crazy, wake the dead and all that fuss. She's a zombie. That's all she does.

So do zombie guys think zombie girls are always having orgasms, owing to the constant moaning?

Still farther I wandered and further I wondered, and methinks to meself: So if a zombie guy goes down on a zombie girl, does he eat her out? Literally?

Then I thought about what a zombie girl would do to the guy, and that brought me straight back to the reality of the gun range, and a screaming, bloody, undead target with a dozen 9mm holes in what used to be his genitalia.

And somehow zombie sex and hot pistols seem so logical a topic to ponderize together.


- Eric

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

V, W, X, Y, Z: All at once!

Well, it's mid-week of the last week of the A-Z, and if it were scrabble, we'd be in the 10-point letter range.

So let me play all these letters at once, on a triple word red square. I will cheat, and use a sentence, rather than a single word. Here goes, for the April A-Z Challenge...



Valerie's azure eyes widened in exhilaration.



LEAVE YOUR MARK! Put an X in the comments, if you have nothing more to say.



Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novel Out of the Great Black Nothing. He is currently represented by Debrin Case at Open Heart Publishing. See more of Eric's work here: Publications

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Q is for Nate's Story

I got nothing today, nothing at all. Stupid Q. Go see Matt at QQQ or Annie over at Quiet Commotion. They like Q. A lot. Prepare your mind for Annie, though. Her poetry is a club to the temple, followed by a good monkey-stomping once she drops you.

So, since I hate Q, I give you a long, arduous piece, which is, my friends, one of my early pieces. It has no title other than Nate's Story, because I wrote it for my brother, and because Nate is my brother's name.


The six warriors stood motionless atop the rise, their deep set eyes probing the westward darkness. It was a night of stillness, with neither clouds nor the wind to push them. No breeze touched their silver shoulder length hair, nor did it dry any of the unblinking sea green eyes as they patiently monitored the night, waiting.

Each thick chest was protected by dove white plate armor without insignia. It was matched on both arms and legs, ending in ribbed gauntlets resting interlocked on the hilts of large broad swords stuck point down between plated boots. Each flat blade was elegant in its simplicity, bearing no sign of art, no engraving, but deathly sharp and balanced to the hands around it. The swords spoke of bloody battles, yet were perfect and unscathed, shiny as the day they were forged. The porcelain faces above them remained as pure and simple, but just as deadly beautiful.

They stood thus, patient as death, waiting for the moment of battle; it was signaled by a gentle breeze and the thudding of large boots approaching. None moved as the night came to life around them.

A head first appeared to them over the rise, seeming to come out of the ground itself, followed by the body of a very large warrior. He was clad in armor such as theirs, an iron look on his perfectly chiseled face. On his back rested a powerful looking sword, nearly as long as they were tall, heavy with its life taking force. He stood a full head taller than the largest of them, and on each shoulder hung an arm the width of a tree. He came to a stop before them and looked to each in silence.

His deep black mane hung loosely about his shoulders, and moved slightly with the breeze he brought with him. He took each of their faces in with his stern glance. His eyes were as dark as his hair, all pupil without color, simply large black circles swimming amidst seas of white. They pierced each of the warriors in turn, first with harsh measurement, then with a flash of compassion before moving to the next. His head moved slowly from warrior to warrior until finally he had burned all of them into his mind's eye; these were his warriors, and although he was their protector and leader, he often sent them to their deaths with a flick of his tongue. His mind held the image of each that had perished, every warrior he had slain with the utterance of a command. He added their faces to the scores upon scores of others, then issued his orders.

His voice boomed into the silence, both a tempest and a song. "The one we seek is held strongly guarded in the valley below by two dozen of your dark un-brothers. I saw no other warriors, and no place of concealment for ambush; your twenty-four un-brothers stand firm, ready and bold, confident of their strength and purpose."

As he spoke the wind gained force, first softly caressing the faces of the six warriors, then growing in strength as he addressed his troops. Clouds quickly tainted the sky with darkening need, a lighter shade of black against black. Their silver hair danced with the breeze, alive at last with the thrill of battle.

The large warrior turned away from them and once again surveyed the arena below. "At the coming of the storm we will descend upon them with terrible might," he continued. "I shall lead the attack, dividing their number through the middle. The six of you will then descend upon the remaining warriors, flanking them three to a side."

He turned to face them, his eyes growing darker, and said, "The chase has wearied us all, but put your fatigue away for after the battle. Do not allow yourselves to tire, but pace your strikes in order to weaken their arms, not yours. And waste no effort killing a fallen warrior, but find the heart of one still able to raise his sword against us.

"They must be separated and cut down individually; our advantage is superior strength, but theirs is with their number. We must force them to face us one against one if we are to survive. Do not let them fight you one against many, but draw them away from their dark brethren and cut them down alone."

The wind quickly gave way to a storm, and crisp soft ticks rang out as small bits of hail bounced off the warriors' armor. A mighty cloud formed over the valley below, solid and thick and heavy as smoke, and spewed forth the tiny bits of ice with its windy breath. Fingers of light flexed from within the looming black monolith like the claws of a crouched demon cat. None of them appeared to notice the stinging on their faces as the wind grew stronger, throwing the shards sharply into their only exposed skin. None flinched as the sky was burned with fiery white explosions.

Raising his voice, the large warrior said, "Embrace death, my brothers, for it holds no power over us. Fight with Our Lord's grace in your heart, and with the wrath of the Almighty on the edge of your swords.”

***

The large warrior turned and strode purposely back the way he had come, gracefully retracing each step down the slope into the valley below. The time to fight was nigh, and he wondered again at the necessity of the destruction. He both loved and hated battle; he fought for love, and for sanctity, but despised the need to fight at all. Many times he wept as he prayed for those lost in battle, remembering the faces of the fallen. He had begged to be given another lot, but this was his destiny, his reason for creation. He was a warrior first and only, nothing more, certainly nothing less. So on he strode without remorse or mercy, never pausing, never questioning the deed, only its vile necessity.

But such thoughts had no place in battle, and he pushed them consciously aside. There were enemies below, and sometimes one must fight and destroy those who opposed what is right.

And that was exactly what he intended to do.

As he continued downward, the sky grew more violent with each step. Even the ground shuddered as he walked, feeling as if he were on the deck of a precarious ship. Thunder boomed overhead in great claps as it spit larger and larger hailstones more violently at him. The air was hot and rank, putrid with the smell of ozone and sulfur. Fist sized chunks of ice shattered harmlessly against his armor in futile fury as onward he marched, oblivious to the clangor.

The approaching valley was covered in velvet darkness, thick and uninviting as a cauldron of boiling oil. He briefly saw through the darkness with each stroke of light from above, only to be plunged forcefully back into the pitch.

The two dozen warriors stood waiting with their hands on the hilts of their swords in the same casual manner as their un-brothers above. They were clad in shiny black armor, with a writhing red serpent engraved on the chest. Their swords were less simple, with finely decorated blades and with lines of red ringing the black hilts. Around each of their necks was a red twine laced with the dried ears of those they had slain, and their long silver hair was bound tightly at the neck with thin straps of black leather. Their sternly set green eyes glared back at him through the darkness, challenging and daring him to step forward against them.

A single tear escaped his eye, his only mercy, and warmly rolled down his face. He prayed for forgiveness, for strength, but above all, he prayed for victory. A powerful arm slowly slid the giant blade from its scabbard. As it came free, the ring of the blade momentarily overcame the anger of the storm like the cry of a laden mother. A fleeting glimpse of emotion passed across his face, then was set aside by the iron face of death.

***

The six stood unmoving, watching as the large warrior moved sword-first into the darkness below. The storm had risen in pitch to a deafening maelstrom, hurling man-sized hailstones furiously into their armored chests. The ice shattered star-like around them; they were six brilliant supernovas atop the dark slope, spectacular white against suffocating black. None moved, nor paid heed to the raging attack of the storm.

The ground shuddered beneath their heavy boots, moving none of them, but destroying itself with the effort. It shook violently and threw great stones defiantly skyward, disappearing silently into the darkness above. But each stood transfixed on some distant shore, some tranquil land of beauty unseen by the forces around. The six remained calm within, waiting for the moment of attack.

Then there was silence, as sudden as a clap, complete and tomblike, silent as death. For many moments they stood in the silence, waiting for what they all knew would come, but all had hoped would not.

Once again heavy steps signaled an approach, and again a warrior seemed to materialize from the ground in front of them. Their armor rattled at his approach as the ground shook with each of his steps, rising in a clamorous crescendo as he neared. He stopped before the largest of them and silenced the rattling with the wave of a hand.

He was clad in shiny gold plate armor, much adorned with flowery designs and deep black jewels. A blood red velvet cape covered his back and was clasped at the neck by two golden snakes intertwined, their ruby eyes winking. On his hip hung a long and impressive sword of gold, held loosely by a magnificent belt and an engraved jeweled scabbard. The hilt was that of a serpent striking, its fangs bared as it hissed in attack. His long black hair was tied off near his waist and flowed tail-like behind him with a life of its own.

He was the same height as the warrior he addressed, but somehow all those around him seemed small and insignificant. He was beautiful beyond creation, such as to blind one who looked upon him for too long. Even his movement was perfection, balanced and sure. He turned his attention to those on either side of the large warrior and smiled warmly. No crease violated the purity of his face as he exposed rows of perfect ivory teeth. He stood like a powerful oak among six pitiful shrubs.

He faced the largest warrior. "Take your prize now, my child," he said smooth as a snake across velvet, "and share with me the glory that is to come." His pure blue eyes pierced the warrior, two perfect daggers burying themselves deep inside his soul. He waited confidently for what he knew would come, smiling, guile his only weapon, the only weapon he needed. "Take it now, my child," he whispered into the warrior's ear, his breath sweet and warm as a lover's kiss. "Take it before it is taken by another." He continued in an even lower whisper, hypnotic and songlike, barely audible, "Take what is yours...."

He stepped back from the warrior in absolute confidence, smiling in uncontested perfection, waiting for the inevitable. Even his silence was absolute perfection.

Long moments passed, when suddenly a warrior to his left came to life with inhuman speed, furious at not being chosen by the glorious warrior. The large warrior easily met the blurring blade which rushed at him, taking several steps back as the attacker advanced with sword singing death. His face contorted in rage, the attacker delivered furious blows to the large warrior, but each was parried, pushed aside while he waited for the next attack.

The attacker moved in circles around the larger warrior, testing for weakness, probing his defense with maddeningly fast swings of his mighty blade. They moved faster and faster still, until all their movement was a blur, lost within the singing of their blades as each danced to the sounds of their lonely battle.

The large warrior never returned the attack, but stood defiant should the attacker choose to stop this fate. He met each blow with his sword, without emotion, seemingly without effort, but refused to be drawn into the death of his brother.

The four remaining warriors stood silently by, watching, waiting for the outcome. There now was balance, one against one, and all knew that to upset this would be to turn the battle violently against them. To watch was marvelous, two great warriors battling for a victory that could not be. Like the day battles night, or night the day, neither could truly ever win, but it is the meeting of the two, the dawn or the eve, that is the most beautiful to behold. As they danced their deadly attacks, their essence was bared, their reason for creation seen. They were designed for battle, and designed only to win.

The golden warrior stood aside smiling at his victory, pleased again with his perfection. He waited for the next temptation, for the time of reckoning. He absorbed the beauty of the battle into himself, adding to that he already possessed. With eyes closed, he shuddered with the pleasure of it, seeing in his mind the glory he had created.

The battle raged violently onward as the warriors continued to attack and parry with blinding speed. Blade for blade they moved across the ground around the other warriors.

But the large warrior held to his patience, held on to his hope and belief that his brother would not turn, yet the battle was wearing him. Creases began to show across his face as he refused to attack, the voice of anger softly speaking to his soul. He drove it back down within him with a silent blow from his mind; he would die before he attacked his brother. Distracted by the effort, his blade faltered and he was struck to the ground, prone as the attacker descended like a raptor upon him.

One of his brothers moved to intervene, and lifted his sword in attack to save his fallen brother. But quick as a thought a golden sword found its tip to his throat, held by the beautiful golden warrior, smiling. The battle stopped just as abruptly behind him, both warriors bound to the sod, watching, one with sword held high.

"Stay your hand, child," the golden warrior hissed to the interloper, "lest you find your head between my feet." He smiled broadly at the warrior, victory his for the taking now.

To the attacker he continued, "Take him as yours, my new warrior, for you have truly proved to be the greater. Feed upon the carrion that dared once call itself your brother. Take him for the glory of your new master."

Hardly had the golden warrior finished before the attacker hacked a large piece of the fallen warrior's head from his neck. He surged with unseen power as he continued to deliver dozens of furious blows in the following seconds. Huge rivulets of blood spewed about him in volcanic gushes as his sword cut through his brother, leaving jagged slashes of torn armor and bone and flesh. Finally, his anger sated, he turned, covered in the blood of his brother, dripping in red bone and sinew, and laid his sword and his head at the feet of the golden warrior in glorious praise.

"Do you see how their pathetic lord has abandoned them in their time of need, while it was I who stayed by your side," he said to the warrior at his feet. "He left them to die, while I gave you life. He bound them to servitude, to death, while I offer you freedom and life. Arise, my great warrior." He sheathed the golden sword and extended his hand to his new servant. "Arise and follow me to glory."

The warrior sobbed as he listened, thankful for his fate, grateful for the wonderful praise. He whispered words of thanks, words of love and praise and glory to his new lord. He stood and hefted his sword above his head in salute. Salty tears rolled down his bloody face and mixed warmly amidst the red.

The four remaining warriors stood motionless atop the rise, and watched their brother and the golden warrior as they descended back into the ground.

***

The large warrior's sword thundered down onto the dark warriors with the wrath of a tempest. They sprang suddenly to life and moved around him in a semicircle as they tried to find his back. Their swords flashed before them as they parried his blinding attacks.

He backhanded the warriors on his right, knocking two from their feet even as they held their swords against him. The warriors to his left pounced quickly, thinking him exposed by such a lopsided attack, but his sword continued around in a full circle as he leaned against his heels and reversed the attack against them. The broad sword found its mark across one warrior's chest with such force that it was as if he had exploded from within. Imperfect, another warrior's blade shattered as it was held in defense and embedded the sharp shards in his tender eyes. The large warrior's huge left fist followed the blow and drove the remaining jagged blade up through his chin and into his skull; the dark warrior knelt as if in prayer, then fell forward onto his destroyed face.

Without pause or mercy, he continued his onslaught before they could regroup. His sword took the head from one of the stunned warriors he had knocked down with his first attack as he tried to stand. In the same low swing he cut the knees from another and stepped forward to drive the twenty remaining warriors back.

They had all seen him fight before, had seen him take down entire armies alone with wide deadly swings of his perfect sword. Thousands fell before him as if they were grass lying flat in his mighty wind, unable to stand, and they knew that to fight him was vain. Like the four that had already fallen, each knew they looked into the face of death, but stood against him defiantly. They were the same as their un-brothers on the hill above - they knew only victory, and fought only to win even against great odds. Both had absolute faith in their lords, and believed they would somehow prevail even in the face of destruction. To stand bravely against adversity guaranteed them a place next to their lord in the afterlife.

His sword knocked away an attack from the left, then whipped back, the tip neatly slicing through one of the dark warrior's necks. The dark warrior dropped his sword and stood firmly as he tried without success to stop torrential flow of his life's blood spewing forth from between his clasped fingers. He stood thus for several moments, then gave the large warrior a bloody grin as he fell over, finally overcome by death.

The dark warriors could not get near enough to him for their swords to reach. The perfect broad blade flashed out and dealt death whenever one got within its reach. One of the dark warriors moved around him to find his back, and with a mighty swing discovered his own death. The large warrior sidestepped the attack and without looking buried an armored left elbow in the dark warrior's face, shattering the fragile bones there. With hardly a glance he spun around and cut the dark warrior bodily in two across his torso, then returned to face the remaining dark warriors as the top slid wetly off its legs to the ground.

Another dark warrior fell defending against the large warrior's attack and lied prone on his back. As the others took yet another step back, his sword descended on the fallen warrior like a bolt from God. It shattered the upheld sword and cleaved the warrior's head and chest in two.

The seventeen remaining dark warriors moved to flank him as time grew more desperate. Cut down in order, the strongest still stood parrying blows from this mighty warrior. But compared to him, they were unarmed children against an angry bear.

The speed of his attacks increased to a blur as the onslaught continued. With each blocked attack, the warriors were thrown off balance by the force, unable to return the attack before another blow needed to be defended. One of the warriors was nearly spun around by an attack, and his spine was cut from his defenseless back.

But before his blood hit the ground, the dark warrior turned and smiled up at the large warrior in dove plate armor. He smiled because a golden sword ripped through the air toward the raven black head of his killer.

The four white warriors flew down the hill into the fray.

***

The man drifted further down, until dark and sinister things began clawing him, breathing harsh hisses and raking their teeth on him. A clawed hand suddenly dug out his heart from the blackness, but he would not die even as it gnawed on the bloody organ. The demon's mouth was filled with needle teeth below flaring bestial nostrils, and his heart exploded like a ripe tomato as it bit harshly into the muscle. It savagely tore off a piece and gulped it down whole. The burned skin of the demon stretched taught over thick rippling muscles as it crouched over him teasingly, then it stuck its face into the hole in his chest and messily slurped his life's blood. It emerged dark and shiny, grinning wetly. His screams were matched by the bloody demon in mockery, then it ripped one of his eyes from its socket and held it teasingly above its outstretched tongue.

His body flamed in bloody pain and agony as more sharp hands held him down, prone against the demon as it danced around him jingling his shiny white eye by its sinewy cords. The claws dug into his flesh unmercifully, and he felt teeth gnawing his fingers and toes, painfully ripping them off in a violent feeding frenzy. He was being devoured, unable to die, and knew somehow that he would never be completely gone, but would forever be ingested into the bowels of Hell.

Above his own screams he heard the sound of a distant battle, the shouts and cries of war drifting across the plains to find his ears. The creature looked in the direction of the noise, then returned to him and plopped the eye down its throat with a sardonic grin. It gave him a final rake of its razor claws across his face, then bounded off into the darkness, leaving him alone and battered.

He waited long moments as the sounds died away and silence overcame the place he now was in. From over a small hill came three large warriors, one of them towering over seven feet and as broad as a horse, with black hair and a sword as long as he was tall. Gore splattered their simple, dove-ivory armor. They strode directly to where he lay.

"You are ours, now," he heard the largest say in a deep and powerful voice as he reached down to him. "You belong now to God."




There you go. If you made it this far, God bless, and God help you.


- Eric

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Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novel Out of the Great Black Nothing. He is currently represented by Debrin Case at Open Heart Publishing. See more of Eric's work here: Publications