Showing posts with label Critiques. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Critiques. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Review: Crossing the Line by by Ellen Wolfson Valladares

Dear Ellen,


I read your YA novel, "Crossing the Line", and despite my hairy knuckles, I kinda liked it. As a writer, I'm envious of your ability to plot such a clean story. I tend to meander, but your storytelling is dead-on with every paragraph.

I got lazy a few times, like we all do when we read, and I skimmed a few paragraphs only to find myself lost because something happened and I missed it. I can skim pages and pages of other authors, but you broke me quick of that bad habit.

See, I had to go back, slow down and read every word, because you didn't waste syllables clucking about someone's sock drawer and their pretty dresses and how they plan to wear their hair tonight. Lean and mean. Well played. Keep that voice.

And then you wove parallel now-and-then plot lines about two groups of teens into a seamless story that on paper must have appeared redundant. I bet it did, if you plotted on story cards or such, because there were overt similarities between the past v. present characters that bordered on cut-and-paste. Still, I somehow had to read every word of both stories, because there were nugget differences buried beneath the sand that when overturned, turned over everything.

I was pleasantly surprised on several occasions. It's like a jack-in-the-box. The book is predictably unexpectable, but even though you know it's coming, you jump anyway.

Oh, and on the ghost part, I have to admit you got me good. Seriously, and this is not a joke or an exaggeration, you got me. I was reading the end of the novel in Chic Fila, letting my toddler, strike that, young son (he's four, not a toddler by God!) play while I found some peace in the chaos to finish your book. Ah, the end.

The end. The sweet, sweet ending.

I won't spoil it, but it triggered me, because we, too, lost a toddler back in 2012, and when I read your afterward, and realized you are an angel parent as well, the ending of your novel made a bit more sense to me. I felt your heart in that scene, and I bet you did, too.

But back to Chic Fila. I had to step into the restroom and cry. True story. That's not a common thing after six years for a man who's emotionally constipated. Again, well-played.

Enough about that, let's move into technical considerations. The editing was fabulous. I can tell you and your editors worked hard on getting it just right. Pace. Structure. Grammar. Plot. Story. Characters. All first-rate, and what I would expect from a professional author.

And as for the story itself, it was interesting and consuming, and I had no trouble suspending my disbelief and settling into your story. The supernatural elements felt a little rushed at times, but that's the pace of a YA novel, and again it comes down to skipping paragraphs. You did not waste time beating bushes. Maybe that's what I mean to say. I'm not complaining about the rush, but I sorta feel like the book was written at high speed with the windows down.

Sure, like that, and on a smooth, straight road. That there's the definition of a fast read, my friend.

Anyway, I enjoyed "Crossing the Line", and I hope other readers will enjoy it as much as I did. Good luck on the shelf, and here's to making a good run of it.


Your friend and newest fan,
 - Eric





Ellen Valladares
WOW! WOMEN ON WRITING TOUR
OF
Crossing the Line


Paperback:  300  pages   
Genre:  Fiction / Young Adult Novel
Publisher:    WiDO (March 2018)
ISBN-13:    978-1-937178-99-4
Amazon Link:



Laura, who died thirty years ago, enlists the help of a tenacious high school reporter named Rebecca, who is very much alive. Rebecca, although skeptical and conflicted by her supposed encounters with a spirit, determines to learn the truth about Laura’s tragic death. As the clues unravel and their worlds collide, Rebecca finds herself at a dangerous crossroads.

Laura, now pulled back into everything she left behind when she died – her old high school and memories of her life and death—has been in training for this exact moment. And nothing means more to her than succeeding at her assignment.

It is her one chance to make sure that what happened to her does not happen to anyone else, and especially not to her new friend, Rebecca.


About the Author:  
Ellen Wolfson Valladares is an award-winning writer/author, workshop facilitator, community volunteer, and mother. A native Floridian, she grew up in St. Petersburg and graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Journalism from the University of Florida. She has worked as an editor, public relations professional, and freelance writer. Her first book, a children’s novel entitled Jonathan's Journey to Mount Miapu, received several awards, including a Mom’s Choice Gold Award and the 2009 Coalition of Visionary Resources Visionary Awards Book of the Year award. She also has a meditation CD, entitled "Healing and Manifestation with the Archangels."

Today, Valladares continues to work as a freelance writer. She also enjoys coaching high school students working on their college essays and helping other writers realize their dreams. She has been married to her husband, Manny, for 30 years and they have two sons, Gabriel and Michael, two dogs, Flash and Chili Pepper, and a crazy cat named Zelda. They live in Weston, Fla.



Find Ellen Online:

Twitter: @ValladaresEllen
FB: @EllenValladares444 (link: https://fb.me/EllenValladares444)

 


WoW! Women On Writing Blog Tour Dates

Monday, April 16th   @ The Muffin
Join us at the Muffin for an author interview and book giveaway for the fictional young adult novel by Ellen Valladares,  Crossing the Line.

Tuesday, April 17th @ World of My Imagination
Nicole Pyles reads and reviews "Crossing the Line" by Ellen Valladares. This is a fun young adult novel that readers will be sure to delight in!

Wednesday, April 18th  @  Beverley Baird
Beverley Baird reviews "Crossing the Line" by Ellen Valladares. Readers won't want to miss this fast paced young adult novel!
https://beverleyabaird.wordpress.com/

Thursday, April 19th @ Memoir Writer’s Journey
Ellen Valladares pens today's guest post at Kathleen Pooler's Memoir Writer's Journey. Don't miss this great post titled "Your Writer's Purpose -- how creating your purpose/vision can keep you on target" and learn more about Valladares' latest novel "Crossing the Line".

Thursday, April 19th @ Write Like Crazy
Mary Jo reads Ellen Valladares' "Crossing the Line" and shares her thoughts with readers at Write Like Crazy.

Friday, April 20th @ BookWorm
Anjanette Potter delights readers at Bookworm with her review of the YA Novel "Crossing the Line" by Ellen Valladares.

Saturday, April 21st @ Spark the Wizard
Brandi at Spark the Wizard shares her thoughts in a review of Ellen Valladares novel "Crossing the Line".

Monday, April 23rd  @ Bring on Lemons with Cathy Hansen
Wisconsin entrepreneur and school teacher reviews the latest novel by Ellen Valladares. Don't miss this opportunity to find out more about the YA Novel "Crossing the Line".

Tuesday, April 24th   @ Finished Pages
Today, at Finished Pages, readers have an opportunity to learn more about "Crossing the Line" the latest novel by Ellen Valladares. Don't miss Renee's review of this YA Novel!

Wednesday, April 25th  @ Reviews by Deb
Deborah Blanchard shares her thoughts after reading "Crossing the Line" by accomplished author and journalist Ellen Valladares.

Thursday, April 26th @ Digging with the Worms
Eric Trant reviews the latest novel by Ellen Valladares. See what Eric thinks of "Crossing the Line" and find out more about this great book and accomplished author.
http://diggingwiththeworms.blogspot.com/

Thursday, April 26th @ Phy Tallic
Phy reviews the delightful YA Novel "Crossing the Line" by Ellen Valladares.

Friday, April 27th @ Write Happy
Today at Write Happy, Cathy Brown will be interviewing Ellen Valladares about her latest novel "Crossing the Line". Don't miss this opportunity to learn more about this YA Novel  as well as hear some tips from the accomplished journalist and author Ellen Valladares.
https://www.writehappy.net/blog

Monday, April 30th @ Ellen Valladares
Crystal J. Casavant-Otto from WOW! Women on Writing reviews "Crossing the Line" by Ellen Valladares and shares her thoughts with readers at Valladares' blog.
http://ellenvalladares.com/ellens-blog/

Tuesday, May 1st @ I Just Want to Finish My…
Brittany shares her thoughts after reading "Crossing the Line" by Ellen Valladares. Don't miss this insightful blog stop for this delightful Young Adult Novel!

Wednesday, May 2nd @ Hott Books
Don't miss today's guest post at Hott Books! Distinguished author Ellen Valladares shares her post titled: 'The Inspiration Behind Crossing the Line'. You'll want to learn more about this delightful YA Novel!

Friday, May 4th @ Frasers Fun House
Melanie at Frasers Fun House reviews "Crossing the Line" by Ellen Valladares.

Monday, May 7th @ Word Nerd Media
Elizabeth at Word Nerd reviews the latest novel by Ellen Valladares. You won't want to miss a minute of this captivating YA Novel "Crossing the Line".





Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels WINKSTEPS and RISEN from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

** BE A SUPER-HERO! BE AN ORGAN DONOR! **














Haunted by visions of a demonic angel and sold into servitude by his father, young Alberto battles to survive the horrors of a nineteenth century Sicilian sulfur mine. Suffering merciless brutality, Alberto must save not only himself but his deformed older brother, both pawns in their father's mad plan to overthrow a group of wealthy landowners.Bound by a death-debt to his hunchback master, Alberto discovers a door the miners call Porta dell'Inferno, the Door to Hell, deep within the sulfur mines. When he learns the demon-angel of his dreams stalks the caverns beyond the door, Alberto realizes a strange fate has lured him and his brother to the gates leading to the underworld.Now Alberto must face the creature from his visions and rise to become the man his father demands him to be, or remain forever trapped in a hellish world where none escape.









Monday, September 11, 2017

RISEN Review by Tara Forst

Today is a professional review of RISEN from Tara Forst.


I’m not sure what I was expecting when I picked up Risen, but I was more than pleasantly surprised. I found both the writing style and the content intriguing and unique. Initially I was a bit confused by the chapters going back and forth between past and present, but once I understood what was happening I was enthralled by the strange, sad tale told by Eric Trant.

I found the characters interesting and realistic and felt a deep sympathy for them. Alberto and his brother Paolo face horror after horror and beat the odds despite Alberto’s small stature and Paolo’s infirmities. Alberto and Paolo create a perfect team with Paolo’s physical strength and Alberto’s strength of character. Alberto defends and cares for his brother and Lena while their fathers rage and campaign against their neighbors.

I found the settings to be quite authentic and frightening as well. You could practically feel the heat from the “Porta dell’Inferno.” I never knew what to expect next. Risen kept me engaged with each new chapter. Though it was a fairly easy read, I found myself taking more time and care to read as the timeframes jumped around with each chapter.

One of my favorite chapters is chapter 12 (Bestie). So much happens in this chapter! Lena is introduced and is described in all her beauty from Alberto’s point of view. Alberto and Lena have an amusing encounter, and Alberto’s father is killed. If there was one point that I couldn’t put this book down it was after this chapter!

After reading Risen, I can’t wait to pick up another Eric Trant book soon!

Tara Forst

Thank you, Tara, for the kind review!




About today’s guest reviewer: Tara Forst lives in Wisconsin with her husband and their young son. Tara owns her own business Worn Forever - dedicated to helping mamas with babywearing and attachment parenting.










See some of our next stops on the blog tour here:


Monday September 4th (today) @ WOW! Women on Writing
Interview & Giveaway

Tuesday, September 5th @ Choices with Madeline Sharples
Eric Trant writes today's guest post at Choice "Is a Career in the Arts (writing) Realistic?". Readers can find out more about Trant and his latest book RISEN.

Wednesday, September 6th @ Mari McCarthy’s Create Write Now
"Say YES: Why Taking Chances is Imperative" is today's topic at Mari McCarthy's Create Write Now. Hear from author Eric Trant as he examines this important topic and shares more about his latest novel RISEN.

Thursday, September 7th @ Writer’s Pay it Forward
Eric Trant pens today's guest post at Writer's Pay It Forward. Today's post is titled: "Breaking In vs. Breaking Out: The Writer's Career Arc". Readers and Writers alike won't want to miss this opportunity to hear from Trant as well as finding out more about his latest novel RISEN.

Friday, September 8th @ BookWorm
Hear from Anjanette Potter of BookWorm as she reviews Eric Trant's latest novel RISEN- this historical supernatural work of fiction is sure to please readers!

Friday, September 8th @ Lisa Haselton
Lisa Haselton interviews Eric Trant about his latest novel RISEN. You'll want to learn more about this supernatural tale of fiction as well as the mastermind behind the dynamic writing.

Friday, September 8th @ Hott Books
"Life Gets Better: An Angel Dad Reports Five Years Later" is today's post title at Hott Books. This touching true life tale is told by guest blogger Eric Trant as part of his WOW! Women on Writing book blog tour of his latest thriller RISEN.

Monday, September 11th @ Tara Forst at Digging with the Worms
Crunchy Wisconsin Mama and Entrepreneur Tara Forst reviews RISEN by Eric Trant. Don't miss this review and giveaway of Trant's latest thriller!

Tuesday, September 12th @ Bring on Lemons with Tess Fallier
Tess Fallier is today's guest blogger with a review and her thoughts on Eric Trant's RISEN. Don't miss this blog stop!

Wednesday, September 13th @ Book Santa Fe with Crystal Otto
Reader and book blogger Crystal Otto reviews Eric Trant's RISEN and shares her thoughts with readers at Book Santa Fe.

Thursday, September 14th @ Memoir Writer’s Journey
Eric Trant visits Memoir Writer's Journey and shares his thoughts with readers of Kathleen Pooler's engaging blog. Today's post title is: "Setting: Its Role in Storytelling". Don't miss this chance to hear from the talented Eric Trant and find out more about his latest book RISEN.

Friday, September 29th @ Coming Down the Mountain
Eric Trant is today's guest author at Karen Jones Gowen's blog Coming Down the Mountain. Read Eric's guest post titled "Luck: Its Role in Success" and find out more about his latest thriller RISEN.


Wednesday, October 18 @ Shannon Muir
Don't miss today's author interview at the blog of Author Shannon Muir. Shannon will be interviewing Eric Trant about his latest thriller RISEN.



Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels WINKSTEPS and RISEN from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

** BE A SUPER-HERO! BE AN ORGAN DONOR! **














Haunted by visions of a demonic angel and sold into servitude by his father, young Alberto battles to survive the horrors of a nineteenth century Sicilian sulfur mine. Suffering merciless brutality, Alberto must save not only himself but his deformed older brother, both pawns in their father's mad plan to overthrow a group of wealthy landowners.Bound by a death-debt to his hunchback master, Alberto discovers a door the miners call Porta dell'Inferno, the Door to Hell, deep within the sulfur mines. When he learns the demon-angel of his dreams stalks the caverns beyond the door, Alberto realizes a strange fate has lured him and his brother to the gates leading to the underworld.Now Alberto must face the creature from his visions and rise to become the man his father demands him to be, or remain forever trapped in a hellish world where none escape.












Friday, July 21, 2017

Review: The Digital Rabbit Hole by Larry Kilham






So I read The Digital Rabbit Hole by Mr. Larry Kilham regarding our future as it applies to technology, and I don't write many reviews (check my blog if you disbelieve me), but I wanted to write one for this book.

Because it deserves a review. And I kinda actually dug on the book.

See, Rabbit Hole is atypically interesting. He frames the yawnish topic of modern techno-consumerism into a Wonderland of truthful lies and fictional fact, a place where everyone is mad and rabbits dash down holes chasing useless misinformation, skittering in haste over tufts of trampled truth in search of whatever Google's sponsors insist we chase and consume.

All hail Google!

Anyway, Mr. Kilham stirs the balderdash hash of the modern world into his hookah, puffs a wise cloud and describes how we can spur intellectual growth in this mockery of ad-driven insanity, rather than simply melt down our life candle with blinking lights and calloused thumbs.

Because technology is a Wonderland of Wonders -- but only if we ~think~ about it.

He's sort of an authority on the topic of technology. I won't go into details, because you can figure it out if you read his profile, but I will say it is refreshing to discover an authoritative opinion on what the future might hold, embedded in a well-written, novelesque and easy-to-chow book.


"You should always think critically and search for the truth."


That's a quote from his book. It is a sky-is-blue obvious statement, but this is an ongoing theme throughout his work. That's why I bring up that he is genuinely an authority on the topic. His expertise shines in the details as he addresses such concerns as immediate gratification and our endless appetite for the next useless gadget. We sell our souls for shiny beads, but the silver lining is that there is a silver lining.

See, the techno-flood plains are littered with golden nuggets, if you are patient enough to pan out the mud and pebbles, and the intellectual plate is piled high with whole-grain goodness, if you are wise enough to winnow out the chaff.

He mentions a lot of interesting topics, such as fear of loss, why we socialize online, how virtual lifestyles affect us and our children, and he dubs the Internet of Things The Knowosphere and so on. I won't steal his thunder, but he will leave you with a wizened vocabulary of interesting catch phrases, and a slick sideways manner of debating the present-future world in which we exist through avatars and an impatient cursor.

I enjoyed the book and its take on technology, but I did find one question begging as I read. So I asked his publisher if she would mind asking him if I could beg him a question, and she asked, and he said he would answer, and so here it goes.

My begging question for Mr. Kilham

You nailed the useful-less-ness of the Knowosphere, as you describe it, pointing out the dichotomy of fact and fiction and suggesting how the thinking class might expand (or is it expound?) their knowledge, while still allowing the consumer class to enjoy what has become our most precious distraction this side of television and booze.

But I was hoping you would explore a point you touched on in this quote:

As Erik Brynjolfsson and Andrew McAfee point out in Race Against the Machine, “How can so much value creation and so much economic misfortune coexist? How can technologies accelerate while incomes stagnate? These apparent paradoxes can be resolved by combining some well-understood economic principles with the observation that there is a growing mismatch between rapidly advancing digital technologies and slow-changing humans.”

While we will continue to witness a flurry of interesting technological advances, I wonder at what point the economy of technology will balance out the replacement of humans by machines, and I wonder if it already began, perhaps with the bust in the early 2000s and China's usurpation of American labor.

So I ask: What is the tipping point of too many economic dead-ends before the remaining workers can no longer sustain the consumerism that companies require to spawn new tech?


Mr. Kilham's Outstanding Response

I don’t know when your tipping point will happen although it probably happens in phases, creeping up almost unnoticed.

Partially reacting to the economic dead-ends you refer to, the Millennials are increasingly convinced that cheaper, simpler, eco-friendly living is the way to go. Tiny houses are no longer a novelty. Automobile ownership is no longer taken for granted. Now it’s okay to wear second-hand clothes and to buy rebuilt appliances.

The capital required to invest in new tech is not scarce, at least not by large, inventive companies. Apple and Google have more cash than they know what to do with. What they seem to lack are significant new product ideas. For small companies, access to venture capital probably has never been easier.

A new economic system catching attention is the move away from consumerism and towards economic subsistence for the less fortunate. This is called Universal Basic Income. It is being promoted by such apparently conservative visionaries as Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook, and Elon Musk, CEO of Tesla. The economic support for such a program would, of course, come from taxes. Economists calculate that taxes can provide enough funding. It is being tried now experimentally in Finland and in Ontario, Canada.

I discuss these concepts in detail in my book, Winter of the Genomes. It is available on Amazon in paperback and ebook.  http://amzn.to/2cGsPjF






Will digital media sweep us into a new era of prosperity? What new advances in entertainment, culture, education, and knowledge can we expect? Will we get stuck in Cyberland only to be saved by digital detox?

The Digital Rabbit Hole reveals that we are becoming captive in the digital universe. The portals are smartphones and the world is the Internet. We immerse ourselves in social media; we learn through packaged feel-good information; and we will leave the hard work to robots and AI. The book details digital media and discusses smartphone addiction problems. It proposes solutions to stimulate creativity and education and to recapture our humanity.

Paperback: 144 Pages
Genre: Social Science/Non Fiction
Publisher: FutureBooks.info; 1 edition (January 1, 2016)
ASIN: B01A3MTVBS

The Digital Rabbit Hole is available in print on Amazon
.

About the Author:

Larry Kilham has traveled extensively overseas for over twenty years. He worked in several large international companies and started and sold two high-tech ventures. He received a B.S. in engineering from the University of Colorado and an M.S. in management from MIT. Larry has written books about creativity and invention, artificial intelligence and digital media, travel overseas, and three novels with an AI theme. Currently, he is writing a novel about free will.


Larry can be found online at:

Website: 
www.larrykilham.net 
Amazon: 
https://www.amazon.com/Larry-Kilham/e/B003UPNVNK/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1
Goodreads: 
http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4352387.Larry_Kilham




 - Eric



Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Wink and Steps from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

** BE A SUPER-HERO! BE AN ORGAN DONOR! **













Haunted by visions of a demonic angel and sold into servitude by his father, young Alberto battles to survive the horrors of a nineteenth century Sicilian sulfur mine. Suffering merciless brutality, Alberto must save not only himself but his deformed older brother, both pawns in their father's mad plan to overthrow a group of wealthy landowners.Bound by a death-debt to his hunchback master, Alberto discovers a door the miners call Porta dell'Inferno, the Door to Hell, deep within the sulfur mines. When he learns the demon-angel of his dreams stalks the caverns beyond the door, Alberto realizes a strange fate has lured him and his brother to the gates leading to the underworld.Now Alberto must face the creature from his visions and rise to become the man his father demands him to be, or remain forever trapped in a hellish world where none escape.

















Sunday, June 4, 2017

Is ~LOGAN~ the best-written Marvel movie yet?

So we watched Logan this past weekend, and it was not at all what I expected. I'm not sure what I expected, because I didn't get amped to see it in the theaters, and I wasn't all that anxious to see it when it hit video.

But I kept seeing ads for it -- nicely done, marketeers! -- and I watched the trailer again and this time decided to go ahead and rent it. I read somewhere it was unexpectedly dramatic, and that did it for me.

So we rented it.

My wife watched it with me and my young son. I know, say what you will, but my boy liked it. He is still going on about the "movie with the claws." Then he growls at me. He's three.

I realized it must be a good movie when my wife put down her phone. That right there, folks, is the sign of a good movie in this house!

She cried at the end. My daughter watched it later with a friend of hers. They both cried at the end.

Now, how many Marvel movies have made you cry? Not many, if any. Heck, I don't recall any superhero movie bringing out that much emotion in me. Let me think, hold on and let the worms dig a little... nope I don't recall any superhero movie, at least not a blockbuster sort of movie.

Anyway, Logan stuck with me, and I got to thinking that this might be the best Marvel movie yet. I've watched some of the Netflix Marvels, and although those try to do the same thing as Logan, they fail to reach the same level of depth.

And what was it that Logan did so differently, anyway?

I'll tell you, since you asked.

It depicted very ~HUMAN~ characters. Full of flaws. Full of frustrations. A life of mistakes, but you didn't mean to make those mistakes, they just happened as mistakes tend to happen.

It depicted love on a level that most of us hope to never experience. By that, I mean hard-love. If you've ever had to hard-love someone, you know that's not an enviable thing.

It depicted redemption. It depicted fall and rise. It did all those things it should do if you want to create a touching, moving story that will draw in your audience, regardless of the genre.

I wasn't expecting so much drama from a Marvel installation. Usually these are cheeky and fun, focused on senseless violence and some mind-numbing twists that do not often make sense. I'm looking at you, Guardians 2!

But in any case, Logan was a pleasant surprise. I will probably buy the movie since I would like to watch it a few more times.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that. If you want to see a fine depiction of how a drama-thriller-action-superhero movie is written, watch Logan.


 - Eric



Eric W. Trant is a published author of several short stories and the novels Wink and Steps from WiDo Publishing, out now! See more of Eric's work here: Publications, or order directly from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

** BE A SUPER-HERO! BE AN ORGAN DONOR! **






















Thursday, September 9, 2010

Book Review: An Honest Lie Vol 1


http://mesmerix.blogspot.com

There's a fine book review at Mesmerix on an anthology containing one of my short stories. Special thanks for the awesome review!

You'll note in her comment that purchases made through my portal go toward a vote that earns the leading author a book deal. Last I checked I was the leading author and am working hard to keep it that way! Wish me luck, and I'll know for sure in October...

Again, M, thank you for the review. Hopefully next year it'll be a full-on novel to shred up.

- Eric

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Critique Rollup: What you might learn from my critique

Here are some dos and don'ts plucked straight from a recent critique of my latest piece.

First off, THANK YOU to those friends who helped critique Gladiator.


Andrew Rosenberg
Donna Hole
Crimey
Tara
Ashley Ladd
Raquel Byrnes
Christine H
Tessa
Carol Anne Carr

And of course my WONDERFUL READER Lanai D!

(I hope I didn't miss someone)

Now, on to what I learned from it, and what you might be able to learn from me.

It is okay to be critiqued

This was my first critique. Yes, you read that right. I have NEVER been critiqued. I let people read my finished pieces, and I've had beta readers who helped me set the working piece afloat in the right direction, but I have never had a group of writers look at my work and shred it.

And it wasn't as bad as I thought. I assumed -- wrongly -- that I might receive silly and meaningless suggestions, or would open myself up to personal attacks. I was afraid of the critique.

It wasn't that bad. Brutal, yes. Enlightening, sure. Can I make everyone happy? Hell no. But I can take away some good information from each critic, and can use that information to improve not only this piece, but my future pieces as well.

Lesson Learned: Don't be afraid to ask for a critique.


Introduce the MAIN CHARACTER!

I introduced a secondary character in my first chapter. I have to change that. You MUST introduce the primary character, the Main Character, the big MC, first.

Then you can introduce the supporting roles.

Lesson Learned: MC comes first.


Story Hooks
Nobody got my hooks. One reader did. Sort of. But overall, I was far too vague.

"What is your point? Where are you going with this?" was a common question. I need to be specific and precise and determinant.

Lesson Learned: Give the reader a direction.


Conflict

My piece was ripped in turn by each critic for a single lacking element: Conflict.

The first scene was interesting, but it did not introduce the plot or the main character or the main character's story question or the story's primary plot element.

Lesson learned: Unless this is lit-fic, which is allowed to ramble, and which usually sits unread in hardback on your built-in bookshelf, you'd better introduce some conflict.

Addendum: Nobody mentioned it, but the conflict must be BIG, preferably life-or-death.


Action

One of my personal quotes is this: Yell ACTION! not BACKSTORY!

And yet, despite my advice-to-self, I am guilty of beginning my story with lackluster action.

Folks, description is backstory and slow reading. Don't forget that. Work it into the action, or at least set the action in motion before you slow it down to look around.

Lesson Learned: Start with a smidge of action. Then introduce the setting. Propel the story forward first, and mold setting around the action.


Run-ons and fragments

I use run-ons not only on my blog, but as a habit inside my fiction. I like the feel of a run-on sentence, but most critics highlighted that I may have been over-using it.

I also got a few red marks for my sentence fragments. I think I am using them too often and need to back off and use proper construct.

Lesson Learned: Minimize stylistic elements, and if you use them, use them properly.


Voice and Tone

Now on this I got good marks. This is huge, because the other stuff I can fix and modify to hit a wider percentage of readers (you'll never get 100% consensus), but voice and tone are something intuitive that cannot be learned.

Mostly, nobody mentioned V&T, so I had to read what they were not saying, and assume it was not an issue. When I queried, the response confirmed that V&T were not an issue.

Lesson Learned: Pay attention to what your critics do not say. These may be your strong points.


Setting and Character

Overwhelmingly the response was that I did a good job putting the reader into the setting and bringing the characters to life.

That's a good thing, too, because combined with V&T, getting your setting and characters to pop into life is one of the deeper elements of writing.

Lesson Learned: Everyone notices setting and character.


Readership

You can never make everyone happy.

Lesson Learned: So don't even try.


- Eric