Wednesday, February 8, 2012

My excuses! What are ~yours~?

Excuses excuses! We all have excuses. It's the old adage: Excuses and assholes, everyone has them.

So in that spirit, here are a few of my excuses, used for writing, working out, eating well, avoiding the drink, and being a responsible, mature, human male.

I'm tired!
Classic, right. I am tired. I'm exhausted right now. But that's no excuse. Get more sleep next time; take a pill; drink some coffee; but quit whining and get off your excuse! (Note: Excuse is synonymous with ~ass~, so, well, there you go, get off your excuse, see.)

It's boring!
Lots of things are boring. Sleep is one of them. So are vegetables. Sometimes when you do something boring, it's good for you. If it needs doing, do it. Quit making asses. (Note: Ass is synonymous with ~excuse~...)

I don't enjoy it!
Boy, now you sound like an old wife, don't you. Boo hoo. If it's something you said you would do, and you promised you'd do, do it. Believe me there is no greater satisfaction than doing something well that you hate. Cleaning the house is a classic example, with scrubbing the tub and shitter being the most-hated chores. It sure feels good to sit on a clean potty, now doesn't it.

I don't fee well...
Drink some juice and get to work. Slacker.

I'm too busy!
You're busy because you keep making assholes rather than finishing your projects! Get off your excuse, close out some actions, and you'll be surprised how un-busy you are in just one day.

I left my good brain at home!
My son used to say this when he was five or so. He said he had multiple brains, and sometimes he used the wrong one. For once, I can't argue with this excuse. I mean, if you have the wrong brain, there ain't much you can do about it.

All right, enough about me. What about you? What are your excuses du jour?

This post brought to you by Eric's inner voice, which right now is saying, Get me 1250 words today, slacker-boy!

- Eric


Laura Josephsen said...

I love the "I left my good brain at home." When my son didn't want something last night, he told me he wasn't really "connected" to it. ;)

E. Arroyo said...

LOL. I lost my muse.

Wine and Words said...

So my Aunt wants to buy me an inscribed bracelet. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to inscribe on it, but HERE IT IS!

Assholes and excuses. Perfect!


dolorah said...

I showed up but my muse didn't :)


L. Diane Wolfe said...

I sometimes spend half my day doing boring stuff, but it has to be done, so I just suck it up and get 'er done.

Phoenix said...

I use "I'm tired" quite a bit. Since I can't have caffeine (it just messes with me too much) I have to rely on waking up the good, old fashioned way, which is to say, stimulating my brain right away with things to do when I wake up. Needless to say, I sleep in a lot, run late to morning meetings and work, and generally spend 5 days a week cursing under my breath for why I didn't leave the house fifteen minutes earlier.

Ugh. I hate it, too. But if I don't get good sleep at night (which I rarely do), it's tough to wake up the following morning.

Suggestions or ass-kicking is welcome... and yes, I know it's still an excuse, even though I spent the entire comment justifying it. LOL!

Theresa Milstein said...

I used to be very good at making excuses. Since early January, I won't allow it anymore. I have to write! Right?

Jai Joshi said...

When I read "Slacker" I burst out laughing. Visions of Principal Strickland and Back to the Future flashed before my eyes.

My number one excuse: "I'm a procrastinator. This is what procrastinators do."