Thursday, October 28, 2010

I Got Fired

So I lost my missionary position, but that's all right, it was entry-level anyway and kinda boring.

I found an ad in the paper for a boob job, went and applied, they said I didn't meet their minimum applicant requirements, so I went next door, where they had a new blow job opening. That one fit me, and they sent me back next door to help with the boob job, but I didn't last long and had trouble getting up the second day and I wound up getting laid off.

After that I went downtown to the government offices to apply for a hand job.

"You can do this at home," she said, "but the pay's not that high."

I told her I didn't mind the low pay -- something beats nothing, right -- and since I can set my own hours and work at my own pace, I've managed to squeeze out a lot more than she probably thought I could.

I'm an over-achiever like that.

- Eric


Wine and Words said...

LMAO! I'm not sure if the first firing is as tongue in cheek as what follows. My husband got laid off for the third time in a year Monday. What can you do??? Laugh, and eat more .69 mac and cheese.

Eric W. Trant said...

Annie: Then we shall dedicate this post to your Dear Hubby.

- Eric

Erin Kane Spock said...

You lightened my day. Thank you. :)

Anonymous said...

Disturbing but smile-inducing. Thanks! ;o)

Raquel Byrnes said...

You are too twisted for color tv...funny!

Made me laugh out loud. =)

Lola Sharp said...

Man, I was worried when I saw the blog post title...I know you have a baby coming in Nov.. Phew!

Once my panic was eased by the obvious humor, I had a nice laugh. :)

Glad you're employed, and doing Nano with us. :)

Roland D. Yeomans said...

You worried me there for a moment. Thanks for the smile. With you having a baby on the way, I was concerned.

Have a happy halloween, Roland

Phoenix said...

I am giggling like the miniature pervert I already am.

Thanks for a good laugh during a hectic Thursday.

PS Maybe you should be in my ASL class? You'd learn a lot of new words...

Jules said...

Now that I've wiped the happy tears from my eyes I can say thank you. I really needed a good laugh :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

dolorah said...

What a sense of humor (LMAO).

Sheesh, and you call me gritty . .

I like the competition though :)


Vegetarian Cannibal said...

Awesome, lol! I have such a dirty mind...I'm going to hell, I know it.

Vegetarian Cannibal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Olivia J. Herrell, writing as O.J. Barré said...

Too funny.

Thanks, friend, that rebel, Olivia

Anastasia V. Pergakis said...


Hilarious! I almost fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. *whew* I needed that laugh, Eric! Thanks!

Wendy Tyler Ryan said...

Nice ;)

L. Diane Wolfe said...

You're terrible!

Eric W. Trant said...

All: Thanks for the concern! The day job is going fine, my badge still works, and my night job is picking up, and I have a book deal coming up (and we all know that means I'll be RICH soon!), so things are doing all right.

I should have put this in the main post, but my post was inspired by Tracy (Phoenix) and her American Sign Language (ASL) post here: Formal Complaint

- Eric

thevoicestoldmeto said...

day job, night job


`ya know money grows on trees seeee:

I use this video, to enlighten some people, don`t worry, I am not an affiliate, got my on life ... take it as a gift ... from a self-help junkie :p

roh morgon said...

This is frickin' hilarious!

Stephanie Lorée said...

I missed this post while I was out at World Fantasy Con.

Wow. You're dirty. Hilarious, but dirty. A little wrong... but still funny! :P