tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post8626470728142952183..comments2024-03-09T02:15:11.120-08:00Comments on Eric W. Trant: Blogfest: Dream SequenceEric W. Tranthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13842968931062056407noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-65505191704421284132010-06-05T12:04:16.226-07:002010-06-05T12:04:16.226-07:00I have no idea what's going on but am interest...I have no idea what's going on but am interested anyways. Different, strange in a way that's not the same as different. The log was weird but a good touch to the scene.Dawn Embershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00214560861614476799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-63636480297978493362010-06-05T08:59:56.480-07:002010-06-05T08:59:56.480-07:00I love your writing and your imagination. Would en...I love your writing and your imagination. Would enjoy reading the rest!Kristie Cookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01649966564896771373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-28750111289388335432010-06-04T21:02:15.858-07:002010-06-04T21:02:15.858-07:00That was riveting. I can already sense the imagery...That was riveting. I can already sense the imagery and meaning in this book, and I want it!<br /><br /><3 Kelsey LeighKris n' Kelshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15273239971556065096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-48548163509599293802010-06-04T20:13:08.679-07:002010-06-04T20:13:08.679-07:00Whoa this was quite a unique voice, bravo. It'...Whoa this was quite a unique voice, bravo. It's got such a creative spin, a naked angel and everything else, I'm very intrigued.Hayley Lovellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16786674202167099600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-66662127666126163352010-06-04T14:45:18.132-07:002010-06-04T14:45:18.132-07:00I love the way you 'talk'. Your descriptio...I love the way you 'talk'. Your descriptions are great, and I love the left-side-of-the-log-thing!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11046724975658216337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-27423216402356782010-06-04T14:23:08.458-07:002010-06-04T14:23:08.458-07:00Definitely one of my favs thus far! I agree with E...Definitely one of my favs thus far! I agree with Elaine: surreal. But in a good way, you know? I love the part about him wanting to be on God's right instead of his left. Great stuff here! Seriously.Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06851403823244758904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-86257598620419458272010-06-04T10:59:10.743-07:002010-06-04T10:59:10.743-07:00Seriously surreal!
Well written. Normality on an u...Seriously surreal!<br />Well written. Normality on an unreal plane of existence.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15459671422564355990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-42367579320366156922010-06-04T10:18:15.725-07:002010-06-04T10:18:15.725-07:00I love this line: Evander wondered if da Vinci had...I love this line: Evander wondered if da Vinci had seen the same blue God. He wondered if da Vinci had met Sage.<br /><br />And I love that in this bizarre setting, he seems to be carrying on a total every day conversation with Sage, as if it's just another day at the office. Very interesting scene!<br /><br />Thanks for participating!!Amalia Dillinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13005039978668326144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-26986484750526317062010-06-04T10:14:42.392-07:002010-06-04T10:14:42.392-07:00I think you should use these blogfests as opportun...I think you should use these blogfests as opportunities to practice your skills. I almost always re-edit my blogfest submissions and they become ten times better.<br />I was confused about who saw what and where the face was and a lot of the setting. I agree there's a lot of kewl stuff in there but some of it is hard to picture.<br />You should take another look at this some day :)Andrew Rosenberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-6447444384832847492010-06-04T10:03:11.761-07:002010-06-04T10:03:11.761-07:00Very unique concepts in this--I enjoyed this very ...Very unique concepts in this--I enjoyed this very much. There are a few things I would edit--repeated words in adjacent sentences--but other than that... <br />very well done. <br /><br />I don't know why people are so down on passive voice these days--I find it works well for dreams, visions, memories, and for setting moods. You used it well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-73903738379154320632010-06-04T09:33:22.784-07:002010-06-04T09:33:22.784-07:00I thought I was the only one who wrote of naked an...I thought I was the only one who wrote of naked angels? Must be a guy thing.<br /><br />I didn't find this passage bland at all. And sometimes passive tense works. That's why the English language has it. Just like pepper, not to be over-used.<br /><br />I truly wanted to read more. You should dust off this novel, revise if you think it warranted, and try to submit. You have real talent, Eric.<br /><br />RolandRoland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-89329368555513101682010-06-04T08:27:46.531-07:002010-06-04T08:27:46.531-07:00Thank you for not having flowing white robes anywh...Thank you for not having flowing white robes anywhere in this scene. I loved your descriptions, especially the log. He spent a lot of time there I'm guessing. <br /><br />Your last line really peaked my interest. It revealed just enough to make me want to read more.<br /><br />Great job, as always.<br />~rbRaquel Byrneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12870113745683162915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-12621166508710646322010-06-04T08:12:00.185-07:002010-06-04T08:12:00.185-07:00Eric,
I agree that the passive voice works well h...Eric,<br /><br />I agree that the passive voice works well here. The only descriptor that threw me off was the ten stories high part. Everything else felt so natural and untainted (naked angels) that this reference felt intrusive and out of place.<br /><br />I would love to read more.<br /><br />~catAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-3641702182729981532010-06-04T07:44:57.422-07:002010-06-04T07:44:57.422-07:00This really peaked my interest further. This one ...This really peaked my interest further. This one I want to read from the tag lines you offered. I'm glad you posted a piece of it for me.<br /><br />The passive voice is alright here because it is a death dream, and seeing the face of God should evoke comfortable emotions. I like how he chooses his position on the log because he wants to sit at the right hand of God, not the left. Symbolic.<br /><br />.........dholedolorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-29886131406345240892010-06-04T07:24:32.548-07:002010-06-04T07:24:32.548-07:00This was great, and I didn't feel like you &qu...This was great, and I didn't feel like you "snipped". Would be curious to see the long version.<br /><br />Fascinating.Charity Bradfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01960821077619680661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-87538383176734830532010-06-04T06:00:13.853-07:002010-06-04T06:00:13.853-07:00I love your description of the naked angel. She so...I love your description of the naked angel. She sounds beautiful--like a work of art.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13267066733031149882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-66736977708231518632010-06-04T05:46:01.369-07:002010-06-04T05:46:01.369-07:00I really like this a lot. Great imagery and descri...I really like this a lot. Great imagery and description really set the tone of this piece. I'd like to read more of this.sarahjayne smythehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02589820347348973092noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-67285772001770665402010-06-04T05:38:42.556-07:002010-06-04T05:38:42.556-07:00I'm floored. Very intriguing. I really like th...I'm floored. Very intriguing. I really like this. <br />Amazing.Christine Danekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00979611961825725350noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779183012658025206.post-12953088476996190592010-06-04T04:35:02.309-07:002010-06-04T04:35:02.309-07:00Eric, I swear, you are one of the most unique and ...Eric, I swear, you are one of the most unique and unusual creative minds I've ever met.<br /><br />Big blue god? A naked angel? <br /><br />I am not worthy.Nighfalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745824744507928211noreply@blogger.com